COVID-19 Lockdown, Day 16
Bad day. First, I came in to realize that a client's medication was sent to the wrong pharmacy, and then, when it was sent to the right pharmacy, they agreed to sent it right away, and they did--to another site. Now, my client will go 8 days without insulin. Then I learned that two clients had been arguing with each other all weekend, and one grabbed the other last night, and then they went back to yelling at each other again today. When I asked what happened last night, one person accused the other of something, and the other denied it completely. Of course, there were no witnesses.
On top of it all, another client I once worked with died. This makes the fourth in 3 years. He died all by himself because his delusions kept him from his family and from having true friends. When you have delusions so strong that you cannot trust anyone and you are always in fear for your safety, life is very hard. It is ever frightening and exhausting. I would hate to live so isolated from others where I cannot let anyone feel and I cannot use methods to cope with my symptoms.
There are those who see what I do and wonder when I am going to find another career--one less heartbreaking. Don't hold your breath. I am a social worker. It's not just my job or even my calling. It is ingrained in my identity. Sure, the job leaves me feeling exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and yes, I often feel underappreciated, but it lets me in to people's lives to help improve them. If you are planning to become a social worker, counselor, therapist, or whatever, you need guts of steel, legs of rubber, a brain of quartz, and a heart of leather. If you can't stand disappointments, fear, or a lick of pain, find another career. Don't waste your money, don't waste my time, and don't waste their energy. These people deserve professionals who see them as more than 1-2 years of post-graduate experience on their way to something better.
Tomorrow, we are going to meet together to process this client's death. It will be painful, and yes, there will be waterworks from a few of us. This is just another thing I will need to get through, but just like the lockdown, I will get through this.
--Signing off.
On top of it all, another client I once worked with died. This makes the fourth in 3 years. He died all by himself because his delusions kept him from his family and from having true friends. When you have delusions so strong that you cannot trust anyone and you are always in fear for your safety, life is very hard. It is ever frightening and exhausting. I would hate to live so isolated from others where I cannot let anyone feel and I cannot use methods to cope with my symptoms.
There are those who see what I do and wonder when I am going to find another career--one less heartbreaking. Don't hold your breath. I am a social worker. It's not just my job or even my calling. It is ingrained in my identity. Sure, the job leaves me feeling exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and yes, I often feel underappreciated, but it lets me in to people's lives to help improve them. If you are planning to become a social worker, counselor, therapist, or whatever, you need guts of steel, legs of rubber, a brain of quartz, and a heart of leather. If you can't stand disappointments, fear, or a lick of pain, find another career. Don't waste your money, don't waste my time, and don't waste their energy. These people deserve professionals who see them as more than 1-2 years of post-graduate experience on their way to something better.
Tomorrow, we are going to meet together to process this client's death. It will be painful, and yes, there will be waterworks from a few of us. This is just another thing I will need to get through, but just like the lockdown, I will get through this.
--Signing off.
You are a very strong, dedicated, compassionate, understanding and devoted Person and Social Worker. Social Work is your true calling and don't you ever forget that, especially when times are tough. Your passion for helping those in need is what attracted me to you in the first place. :-) I admire you greatly, Devin and your clients appreciate everything that you do for them. If you weren't there for them, everything would fall apart. Yes, you are overworked and I do feel that the higher ups are not compensating you enough for all that you do. Social workers are underpaid, period. The unfortunate truth is that no matter where you go in social services, you will be overworked and won't get compensated enough. You are at Thresholds for as long as you have been because you truly care about your clients and you truly make a difference in their lives.
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