My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

Most of today was good. I returned to the office, and I was in for a busy day. It was great to be back. I will not miss being exiled from my office and having to lug around the dossiers of all of my clients. We still cannot drive people, but it's a start. I have had so much on my mind this week, but I am going to focus on two things tonight. First, I often reflect on why it is so difficult for younger people to go to church. Sure, some are bored by the liturgy or do not thing Christianity or church life are not hip and sophisticated enough. In my life, I have been a member of 4 churches, and all four have certain things in common. First, there are those who make the most noise on Sunday but live godless lives all other days of the week. Next, there is petty bickering back and forth and just general meanness. After all, why give up having fun with friends when you can just go to church and be around a bunch of mean people who do nothing but yell and argue, right? Third, those who ...

An angry world has become angrier. A frightened world just became more frightened. Minneapolis is on fire, and looters follow angry protesters, ruining what could be a noble movement. People express bitterness against the police--those who are sworn to serve and protect. While some officers uphold their oath, others choose to serve their hatred and protect their egos on steroids. As a result, Mayor Frey is demanding the arrest of the villainous swine who lynched George Lloyd. Every single organization with an agenda has expressed outrage. Conservative groups, liberal groups, religious leaders, actors, singers, and politicians finally have something in common: they have seen a gross injustice, and they are outraged. Even with all the sadly ironic division during the pandemic, only now are people starting to hold hands and sing kumbaya. All it took was the murder of a Black man. I'm glad it is finally happening, but how long will it have the right effect? Who will ruin it, like the...

I had a good worship at church today. We did a drive in service, and people formed a circle with their cars. It just made me want to burst out singing: "Oh, may the circle be unbroken by and by, Lord, by and by..." It was a warm and sunny day, and I needed to hold onto an umbrella to avoid getting overheated. An argument between a few people almost but a damper on the beautiful day as a few people had gotten into an argument about who is the right authority on social distancing and COVID-19, and so on. This damned virus is driving everyone crazy. Not just the virus, but fearmongering politicians, media, and "experts". I see truth in what each of them say, but not full truth. Besides, none of them truly know everything, so we must stop behaving as if their words are gospel. I am unaware if any of you have experienced this yet, but when I wear a mask too long, I start having trouble breathing. At first, I thought it was too much fat in my midsection, and then I thou...

When you are a mental health social worker, there is never a dull moment. Never. This is especially true with the lockdown. This lockdown has made some of my clients rather symptomatic. There have been bouts of depression, increased anxiety, and then there has been delusions and paranoia. I had to petition a client today for involuntary admission after he kept harassing another client and became physical. Because he was angry with me for calling 911 and being forced to go to the hospital, he started screaming at me, calling me a liar, a traitor, and a nigger. Let's pause for a moment. Those who know me best know how much I hate that word. I don't care if it is said as an insult, a reprimand, or a term of endearment. I don't care if you are as white-skinned as Emma Stone, as black-skinned as Don Cheadle, or everything in between. I don't care if your best friend is Black, Your spouse is Black, or if you gave your life savings to the United Negro College Fund. If you ca...

Today was a busy day. I helped my clients, over the phone, apply for their stimulus checks. I hear that people are getting their checks already. When will mine come? Besides, they are not GIVING me anything. They overtax me as punishment for being married and not having human children. As far as I am concerned, they are giving me money back for the times they taxed me too much and for the unjust laws they create to take even more of my money. I am in favor of taxes, but didn't we give the British the boot for their taxation without representation? The only people I see profiting off of my taxes are the wealthy corporations and the victicrats. What about the working and middle classes? We are too busy fighting off poverty. Since when do the resourceful Republicans and bleeding-heart Democrats show that they truly care about the other 80% of the population? In other new, things just got worse for my best friend and her family. First her mother-in-law died, and now a tornado smacked...

Bad day. First, I came in to realize that a client's medication was sent to the wrong pharmacy, and then, when it was sent to the right pharmacy, they agreed to sent it right away, and they did--to another site. Now, my client will go 8 days without insulin. Then I learned that two clients had been arguing with each other all weekend, and one grabbed the other last night, and then they went back to yelling at each other again today. When I asked what happened last night, one person accused the other of something, and the other denied it completely. Of course, there were no witnesses. On top of it all, another client I once worked with died. This makes the fourth in 3 years. He died all by himself because his delusions kept him from his family and from having true friends. When you have delusions so strong that you cannot trust anyone and you are always in fear for your safety, life is very hard. It is ever frightening and exhausting. I would hate to live so isolated from others w...

So, today I read more about how the number of people dying from COVID-19 continues to grow in Illinois, and that 5,102 people have died from this. I looked at the Illinois death statistics, and while some children, a newborn, a teenager, and a few people under 50 have died, the majority of those who have died are over 60--especially over 70. The supervisor of my side-gig, a septuagenarian (those she has more energy than some 60-year-olds I know), is now, metaphorically speaking, coming to Jesus. She is closing her office for a few weeks, so I might be working from home on Saturdays. As for Monday-Friday, I have been working at my backup location, and I have been getting more done! I am even starting to come home earlier than usual.  Okay, so for those who know me best, my beard is growing. Ever since the first state of emergency a few weeks ago, I have been letting my beard grow. I plan to let it grow until the crisis has ended. If I start looking like a yokel, so be it. Now,...

Today was almost decent. Was finally able to spend more time outdoors since I needed to buy groceries for my clients. Do you know how difficult it is to buy groceries for 8 people? It took me about 2 hours, not to mention how long it took to unload them. At least a client came and helped me put them away--using social distancing, of course! It was so annoying though, having to wear those gloves and face mask all that time. Plus, there were limits to half the items, and they were out of some of the affordable things. For instance, the maple-flavored syrup supply was completely depleted. At least my clients will have a chance, for the first time in their lives, to taste 100% maple syrup! I just had a sad thought, though. Another Sunday in Lent, and I won't be going to church. I don't know how I am going to cope if this thing continues through Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday. Enough of this lockdown! Would it help if we arrested all the irresponsible people who won't use d...

I was so glad to get out of the house after work today; staying cooped up in the house since Monday afternoon was more than enough for me; I don't know how people can do it. I had to get some medicine and a few things, so I put on my mask and thick gloves and went out. I had a growing craving for a Coke, so I bought a Mexican import while I was at the store. Sure, I was one of the few people wearing masks, but so what? So, Chicago's mayor laid down the law today because some people are too stupid and/or inconsiderate to obey the lockdown. People are going golfing, and they are socializing on the lakefront or in the park. After all that is going on, people still don't get it. Because of this, she closed all parks and lakefronts, and she told people that if anyone violated the restriction, she would fine them or even thrown them in jail. Right on, sister! It is disgusting that it had to come to this. Personally, I think it should be legal to take such monstrous morons and s...

Another day spent at home. While I went to my patio to "summerize" my bicycle, I was in the house all day. Besides Tangaray flirting with me and the occasional "Hey Devin?" from the wife, I didn't get many interruptions today. That was good since I was busy checking in with clients via telephone, plus the clients of my esteemed colleague since she was out sick (no, she doesn't have "it", God be praised). Of course, the day could not end without correspondents criticizing the President. So, there was a press conference today, and when the President said that he hopes that the crisis would be over by Easter, Dr. Fauci, the medical spokesperson of the COVID-19 task force, said that it is necessary to be flexible. Because of this, people not only think Fauci is openly defying the President, but they are congratulating Fauci for their illusion. Let's get something straight. President Trump is NOT a doctor. He has no medical training. Ask him you...

So, I survived my first day working at home, making phone calls and doing documentation. Work at home is not easy as it sounds, especially for one used to keeping work at work and home at home. First, it is too easy to want to get comfortable. I must sit on a hard dining table alone to work. Second, The cats keep insisting on attention. Actually, Felix, my tuxedo, will pull at my pant leg a little and then leave me alone. Tangaray, my wife's tabby, though, comes and licks my back, taps my side, and then jumps on my chair and smacks my temples. Then, of course, there's the wife, who asks me questions and strikes up conversations when I am trying to concentrate. I know. She likes having me at home in the afternoon, but it is very hard to get out of work mode when I am in it. I am already wishing for this lockdown to begin so that I can get normalcy back. I read on the news how these brats are ignoring the shelter-in-place orders, enjoying spring break when crowds are outlawed. ...