My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

My birthday is almost over. I made it to 40, and now I am thinking more of how to prepare for the future. In addition to being an oblate, I am planning to be more or less debt free in a year, give or take. I pray that I get not more unfortunate surprises. There is one thing that I have not had in years that I desperate desire is financial security--to be able to have something to fall back on in case of an emergency.  I also pray for emotional security. In that prayer, I will continue to remove cancerous influences from my life, whether they are habits, people, groups, or anything that makes me irresolutely unhappy and less sane. Reversely, I plan to find positive influences where I can keep my inner peace and be of use. That is what I hope to gain from whatever church I choose. I have very little tolerance for churches that do little to nothing but socialize and argue, as well as those where people who do the least complain the most and wear down those who are trying really hard. ...

Today was very productive. I took a walk in the park even though it was hot, and I read from the Rule of St. Benedict. I read the chapter about the 12 steps to humility. So much is involved with this. Click here to learn them in detail.  What struck me most, especially with all that is transpiring, is making myself inferior to all. In that same light, I am expected to be obedient even in the face of injustice. Maybe I am not reading that correctly. I know that I am to offer the other cheek when one is struck, but I only have two cheeks. Surely I am not expected to deny my humanity too, for the sake of humility.  When I came home, I saw that the Reverend Father wrote back. He said that he received my messages and will get back to me once he could compose a "comprehensive response." People of faith, please pray that he will allow my period of discernment to begin very soon.  Later today, I met with my Bible study group, and I gave them the news: I plan to transfer to...

One hundred days. I have been doing this blog for 100 days, or 3 1/3 months, every day, non-stop. These days have certainly not been uneventful. There have been the closure of businesses, people not respecting restrictions, politicians and others abusing the restrictions, a great surge in cases, rampant death, missing church, a church being burned down for challenging the local government, a Black man being murdered by a police officer in broad daylight, protests, riots, destruction of monuments, the skin color of looters and arsonists, returning to church under social distancing, and then discrimination by possible churchians. Then, there have been my aunt's death, issues at work, my quadragintaphobia, and my visit to the monastery. We started with Phase 1, the growth of COVID-19, Phase 2, the most lethal stage, which is where everything non-essential was closed and there was an increase in unemployment, thereby necessitating the need for stimulus checks, and where so many peopl...

Today was very sultry! Fortunately, I was able to spend most of the time indoors. When I got up this morning, after taking care of an unpleasant errand, I went to Panera Bread and did some writing on my book. I was able to get much accomplished since I had gotten many messages and texts. I received two comments about my post from yesterday. One person told me to "judge not, lest ye be judged, " and another accused me of gossiping and being one-sided. First the former comment. So many people, young and old, conservative and liberal, misquote that passage from the Gospel of John, seventh chapter. They do this to keep people from confronting them about their sins and because they are not interested in changing. Many will use their legal protected classes statuses for this, and many will use their youth or old age. People get tired of this from others. Those who are protected eventually are targeted, and while recalcitrant children eventually get the rod, elderly "good old...

Today was an okay day. I had a meeting at church with a few anonymous members of the congregation about why a comrade and I were resigning as elders of the church I currently attend. Well, let's just say that it was almost exactly how I anticipated. Let's just say that there was behavior of some Christians that was not very Christ-like. Let's just say that I received more reminders of how age and maturity are not always parallel. Let's just say that this particular congregation, as a few of them keep drilling holes in a sinking ship, has only a about 2-3 years, tops, before they shut their doors. Let's just say that people like those I have mentioned are part of the reason why churches close and their children and grandchildren abandon the faith. Hence, let's just say, or rather sing, the following parody: You treat people like roaches, you treat people like tools You treat people like roaches, you treat people like tools And you think you're the Savi...

Made it to the monastery! The train was an hour late in arriving because they were having brake problems long after we left Union Station. So annoying; it seems as if I always have problems when I travel. The place is very nice--right in the middle of the forest. Very quiet too. The Father Superior is the one who picked me up at the station, clad in a brown cassock, cincture, and scapular with a hood. He even wore the traditional sandals. He told me the history of the only Lutheran monastery in America, and one of three in the world. I will take many pictures and post them--including of my room, which is twice the size I thought it would be. I would write more, but I need to get to bed. After all, matins are at 5:10 in the morning. --Signing off.

I received some good news today. First, I am no longer exiled from my office. I can start working on-site again. Hallelujah! There are still things I cannot do, such as drive clients and stay in enclosed spaces with them, but I will be able to have my office again. In the words of Mabel Simmons: "Halleluyer! Praise de Lort!" 😁 More good news: my church can start worshiping inside now, with social distancing of course. I have seen it done, and it will work. It has worked. I know that there are others who are still uncomfortable coming inside, but it is time. The virus is being controlled, we have been taught what viruses can and cannot cling to and for how long. Besides, other churches just as small as us are letting people inside with the same rules, and these churches have vulnerable people too: elderly, sick, et cetera. Another thing: summer is coming, and Chicago summers can be extremely hot. It was in the 80's and 90's in late May even. Do we want our clergy to...

Not too much to talk about today. First, I went grocery shopping, and I learned something very interesting. People are no longer allowed to bring their own bags anymore. They must either buy store bags or pack their groceries in their cars. I won't pretend to understand the logic of this as I am sure this is done to protect the spread of infection. Be that as it may, if this is a statewide rule, then stores like Aldi should either lower the prices of their bags or provide a free option. Furthermore, the City of Chicago needs to repeal the 7 cent bag tax. After all, if using store bags is the only option, the consumers should be accommodated. It is so hysterically ironic how the tax was created to encourage conservation and reduce waste, but now such measures are no longer legal. If it will stop the spread of this virus, so be it. Now for something more serious. My grade school, St. Paul Lutheran School, of the Austin neighborhood of Chicago, is having serious fiscal problems. The...