My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

 The Pfizer vaccine was released on Monday, but only hospital workers and first responders are getting it first. This is understandable since they are the ones taking the most risks. It is being said that the rest of us, excluding those with serious health problems, will not get the vaccine for another few months. Also this week, a second vaccine, Moderna, was approved and will be available soon. When they become available for me to use, I will take Pfizer or Moderna. Astra Zeneca's vaccine is still only 70% effective, but I doubt that I would use it anyway--especially with the allegations that they use cell lines of aborted babies for these vaccines. I don't know how true it is, but I would not put it past them. With whatever is approved, however, this issue might be moot.  There is something I have been seriously thinking about. I think that March 13rd, the day President Trump declared a national emergency because of COVID-19, should be declared a national holiday. After all...

 It happened. Yesterday, December 11, 2020, The FDA approved Pfizer's 95% effective COVID-19 vaccine. After all the sickness, drama, death, finger-pointing, isolation, unemployment, and chaos, a vaccine could be available as early as Monday morning. Very soon, COVID-19 will take the same exit as the Spanish Influenza and the Black Death. Very soon, I will hug my friends and shake hands with strangers without worrying about becoming ill. Very soon, stadiums will be filled with roaring fans, and churches (hopefully) will be standing-room-only. Yes, very soon, social distance will be replaced with social closeness. God be praised! The question that lies ahead is, "What have we learned?" Indeed, what have we learned--as Americans and as humans. Regrettably, for some, no lesson was learned. They will still be just as selfish and overindulgent as ever. They will still have the wrong priorities. They will still celebrate immorality and hatred. If anything is learned, I hope it i...

 Yet another week passed. The good news was that the COVID-19 infection rate is starting to plateau, meaning that new cases and deaths have plateaued. Also, there is more talk of the vaccines and when people will begin getting them. As for the unpleasant news, I have learned personally what my commuting clients must endure with social distancing. I took a bus with him, and three buses passed us by before one could stop. Whenever a bus no longer has space to socially distance, it runs express. Hence, it took three times as long as it usually does to get where I am going. Also, I was talking to my friends about what to do on New Year's Eve, but it seems like we probably won't be able to get together as we planned. Damn you, COVID-19! Ruined the whole year and killed over 250,000 Americans. I think this video from Office Space sums up what I think of 2020, possibly the worst year of my life (hint: the year 2020 is the printer):  At least I accomplished one good thing this week; I...

 Much to discuss. First, a big shout-out to one of my biggest cheerleaders and pastry enthusiasts, Caroljean Hauze, whose birthday I missed 😬. Please join me in wishing her a happy belated birthday! 🎂🎂🎂🎈🎈🎈🎉🎉🎉 This has been one heck of a week. First, another Black man shot by a cop (at least this guy didn't die). Cue peaceful protesters. Then cue BLM  and Antifa. And now, one of my favorite places to visit, Kenosha, is ruined. On top of this, this one guy named Kyle Rittenhouse decided that he had enough of the rioting and savagery, so he opened fire on the rioters, killing one and injuring two. A seventeen-year-old boy could be going to prison for life. On the one hand, he was outside of the law. He should have only used the gun if his home or property were in jeopardy. On the other hand, in too many cities have politicians openly disrespected all police, good and bad, or told the police force to stand down. In Chicago, Portland, and other cities, mayors and governor...

I returned to work this week. The COVID-19 restrictions did not change. I missed two clients getting seriously ill however. Another one must self quarantine for two weeks because he visited a state with a resurgence of COVID-19. At least he is accepting of it. Another one said that he would refuse to honor the quarantine--as if he had a choice. It has been one week since I stopped attending my previous church. I turned in the key to the more decent member of the "ruling family." If I had to give it to the first person who asked for it, I would have sinned. The latter man has one of the worst attitudes I have ever seen in a church. He is disrespectful and domineering. Maybe he is trying to compensate for something he feels is missing, or maybe he needs surgery to remove the large bone from his head. At any rate, this good-old boy is one of the causes of a dying church. Such pettiness and phariseeism have no place in a church or any Christian group. It drives people away and...

My birthday is almost over. I made it to 40, and now I am thinking more of how to prepare for the future. In addition to being an oblate, I am planning to be more or less debt free in a year, give or take. I pray that I get not more unfortunate surprises. There is one thing that I have not had in years that I desperate desire is financial security--to be able to have something to fall back on in case of an emergency.  I also pray for emotional security. In that prayer, I will continue to remove cancerous influences from my life, whether they are habits, people, groups, or anything that makes me irresolutely unhappy and less sane. Reversely, I plan to find positive influences where I can keep my inner peace and be of use. That is what I hope to gain from whatever church I choose. I have very little tolerance for churches that do little to nothing but socialize and argue, as well as those where people who do the least complain the most and wear down those who are trying really hard. ...

Today was very productive. I took a walk in the park even though it was hot, and I read from the Rule of St. Benedict. I read the chapter about the 12 steps to humility. So much is involved with this. Click here to learn them in detail.  What struck me most, especially with all that is transpiring, is making myself inferior to all. In that same light, I am expected to be obedient even in the face of injustice. Maybe I am not reading that correctly. I know that I am to offer the other cheek when one is struck, but I only have two cheeks. Surely I am not expected to deny my humanity too, for the sake of humility.  When I came home, I saw that the Reverend Father wrote back. He said that he received my messages and will get back to me once he could compose a "comprehensive response." People of faith, please pray that he will allow my period of discernment to begin very soon.  Later today, I met with my Bible study group, and I gave them the news: I plan to transfer to...

Thank you to the three who responded. After this week, I am going to write one post a week--on Saturdays. Hopefully by this, I will have a more even flow of material. I will continue this blog until we reach Phase 5, and then we can decide what my next blog should be about. I have read how some states that have relaxed restrictions too hastily are now starting to regret it as there is a second surge in infections that has arrived. So far, this has not touched Illinois due to our strict lockdown. New York, on the other hand, is also experiencing a second surge. Considering how congested it is, no wonder. Humans are not meant to live in such cities. Being crammed together does not help us to see humanity in a positive light. In fact, cities make us less than human in our attitudes and behaviors. That is why we are meant to live in small towns, villages, hamlets, and in the country. As for New York, I wonder if the protests caused the second surge, or if the sheer population limits thei...

Today was very sultry! Fortunately, I was able to spend most of the time indoors. When I got up this morning, after taking care of an unpleasant errand, I went to Panera Bread and did some writing on my book. I was able to get much accomplished since I had gotten many messages and texts. I received two comments about my post from yesterday. One person told me to "judge not, lest ye be judged, " and another accused me of gossiping and being one-sided. First the former comment. So many people, young and old, conservative and liberal, misquote that passage from the Gospel of John, seventh chapter. They do this to keep people from confronting them about their sins and because they are not interested in changing. Many will use their legal protected classes statuses for this, and many will use their youth or old age. People get tired of this from others. Those who are protected eventually are targeted, and while recalcitrant children eventually get the rod, elderly "good old...

This was another humid day. I really hope they find this vaccine soon because I am tired of wearing masks. I cannot wear them outside because I start wheezing. There are even stories of people fainting from ingesting too much carbon dioxide. Carbon monoxide is lethal, but a certain amount of carbon dioxide, dear friends, is also lethal. I keep seeing people outside wearing masks when they do not need to, such as when they are by themselves or the closest person to them is well over 6 feet away. This is not the right weather for prolonged use of masks! When I went out today, I only donned my mask when I entered a store or confronted a stranger. This is the only time we need these masks. It seems like we are darned if we do and darned if we don't. So, it is the middle of the weekend. How many Chicagoans will be shot by Monday? How many will be killed? How many of these will be children? Pardon the sarcasm, but is that not what we have come to in Illinois, where no one can enjoy a s...

Summer began today! Though the rain and the clouds made it difficult to notice, today was the longest day of the year. Tomorrow, I plan to go to church and then hurry home so The Wife can take me to the train station. Then, it's off to the monastery. I am really looking forward to the serenity and spiritual healing. Again, I plan to continue writing my blog while I am gone, internet access permitting. Good news and bad news for Chicago. First the good news. Starting Monday, the bars will be open, and indoor seating will be allowed once again--with restrictions. Is it possible that Olive Garden will break down and take reservations? Now, the bad news. A three-year-old boy was shot and killed in a drive-by shooting in the Austin neighborhood tonight. Disgusting. It does not even matter that the boy was not the target. If you are going to kill someone, at least be a man, get out of the car, and face your target. Don't open fire from a moving vehicle! What, do you think a bul...

It's vacation time! I was even able to leave early today. Hurrah! It's also Juneteenth! I arose this morning, added the red, black, and green flag just below the American flag on my car antenna, and I said the African-American pledge of allegiance. I am sure people are wondering what the African-American Pledge of Allegiance is and why we have it. First, here is the the answer to the first question. The African-American Pledge of Allegiance We pledge allegiance of the red, black and green Our flag, the symbol of our eternal struggle and to the land we must obtain. As for the second question, such a pledge, which is one of several for the same purpose, is mean to unify people for the sake of a common need and a common identity. Alas, African-Americans have a rich culture that is different from African or even Caribbean cultures. There are certain things that African Americans understand about each other that are foreign to all others, while there are things ...

To the quacks and the TWA doctors out there, I have a simple request. Would you kindly leave my clients alone? One of the people I have worked with for a long time has severe cancer, along with other health problems. She has been very trustworthy and polite with her doctors, and and with me. Still, she has a cancer that could have been treated effectively with a simple, routine test. A long time ago, she had a blood test result that came back abnormal, but a certain number was not high enough to be cancer even though it was higher than normal. Considering how my client always went to her medical appointments, and always complied with treatment, it could have been prevented with a little monitoring. Guess what that no-account doctor did? Nothing! And then, under the Obama regime, the "experts" said that such tests were not necessary to conduct annual as before, so she went years without this test. Then, when Trump became President, the test was given annually again. That is ...

Last week of work before vacation. Huzzah! I'll still go to my Saturday job, though. That's a cakewalk compared to social work, and I get free pastries! I probably should go easy on the pastries though. I already have the gut of a woman who is 5 months pregnant. Just kidding! I bought my tickets to the monastery, I confirmed my itinerary with the Reverend Father, and it is all settled. It is going to be great to get away for a few days, to be in the middle on nowhere and commune with the Lord in contemplation and reflection. In actuality, I knew about this place for over 10 years, but this is my first time going. It was my plan that, if I were not married by 40, I would settle all debts and join a Lutheran monastery. Well, that didn't happen, but the principles of a monk have not really departed from me. In fact, I consider myself sort of an independent friar. Both monks and friars take similar vows, but friars do not separate themselves from society. Instead, they serv...

Went to church today. I was glad to see people there to worship and were not too afraid or "uncomfortable" to come inside. We had a decent service. Short, but decent. I am going to be on vacation in one week. Hallelujah! I can't wait to get on the train and go to the monastery for a few days. I still don't care to celebrate my birthday, but if my mother or my family want to do something, I'll go with them.  I also learned some good news today.Illinois has had the lowest COVID-19 dead count since April. That is such a blessing and a beacon hope. They will find a vaccine soon enough, and COVID-19 will be like a bad dream. Isn't God good? Now for some enlightening news. Someone videotaped the burning of Wendy's in Atlanta after Rayshard Books. Guess who lit the match? You guessed it: a White woman. She could be from Antifa White supremacists groups who want to frame African Americans, but many of these rioters are undoubtedly from BLM. Alas, they fit t...

Another rough day. Do you know what warfare tactic Shaka Zulu introduced to Southern Africa? It was called "impi" in which his soldiers would charge and surround the enemy in the shape of a bull's horns. The enemy would become surprised to find themselves so quickly surrounded by the enemy to a point where they could not escape and could only fight or die. That is how I have felt today in particular. It felt as if everyone were attacking me in some way: people at work, people from church, all of society, and even at home. I am tired of fighting. I am tired of needing to explain myself. Not that anyone would listen anyway. People are just so full of talk that they are deaf to the words of others. It's like I cannot do anything right. It feels that every mistake I do is placed on a billboard and taught to parrots to constantly repeat. What bothers me the most is that those who do the least have the most to say. They are the most critical. They will not volunteer to do...

Today was a mixed bag. We had another good service outside, even though we had issues with the sound system. For those who are unaware, moving an entire sound system is hard work. You must position speaks in a way that people can be heard, plug in cables to each of them, make sure there are enough microphones, and find a power supply for everything, all whilst organizing things so that no one trips. Trust me, preparing outdoor services is no picnic, and if the slightest thing goes wrong, someone will come over to complain. People seem to  be so quick to complain, yet it never occurs to them that people are trying their best. This is why it is difficult to get people to commit to volunteering. After all, if you are only going to get a finger wagged at you at every mistake, why bother? This reminds me of the story of an old man, his son, and their donkey. They had just harvested their crops for the year, and they placed their finished product in a cart and hitched up their donkey. ...

Today was slightly better. I had to deal with a client who is chronically sick who is starting to reject treatment necessary to live. This same client is going mad from cabin fever since he cannot safely go out until the pandemic ends. I hope we can get him back on track; I don't need another client dying on me. I am just tired. I am so glad that my vacation is coming up. I am excited about getting on the train and going to the monastery for a few days. I have been longing to go to a place that is far away from everyone and everything. My peace of mind continues to slip out of my grasp, and I want it back. I want to feel sane again. At least I had a chance to get a portion of normal back tonight. My Working Stiffs Bible Study reconvened. It was great to have the Bible study with my group again. Even The Wife (sorry, Kristaleh; this is just my writing style) and our Vicar came. I will be returning to my Saturday job this week, and I will be able to fika again with She Sits by the ...

Another sad day. As I went to an outreach client's house, I saw people boarding up their businesses on Division Street. On Division and Paulina, I saw that the Target was boarding their windows a few hours too late. I also saw on Ashland, where my client gets his medicine and household goods, with all of its windows shattered. On the I-90/94, there was an influx of graffiti, especially the initial VTC, which I have learned means Vandalize the City. I had to pull over to restrain my emotions. Alas, I was on the job, and I am tired, damn tired, of shedding tears. Yes, today I wept for Lady Chicago. I have always loved her, even though I had to leave her. Lady Chicago has a unique beauty, a style, a flair, and an abundance of class. Sadly over the years, corporations, corrupt politicians, and rebels with false causes have seduced my first love, promising her power and eternal fame. So, she turned away from the family that built and nurtured her and the lover that protected her and l...

Before I begin, I want to correct myself on one thing. I kept calling the subject of the rioters George Lloyd, when his name is George Floyd. My apologies. What started as a protest last Tuesday has turned into a violent national free-for-all. In the middle of all of this, everyone continues to point fingers at everyone else. If it is not the President, it is the entire police force, the prosecutors, or the progressives. There were even acts of violence in downtown Chicago today, forcing Mayor Lightfoot to impose a curfew "until further notice." If I must blame someone, I blame the "progressives" for encouraging people to fight belligerently for their rights but ignore their responsibilities. I blame the Democratic party for making empty promises to ethnic minorities and for caring more about sexual minorities and women who want to kill unborn children than about true understanding and mutual respect. I blame the White supremacists who taught Chauvin that, in th...