My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

 A whole year; a whole year has passed since I started writing this blog. It has been three days since the one year anniversary of the pandemic. This pandemic caused suffering all around the world, but not as much as it has affected Americans. As of today, 29,920,435 have been diagnosed with COVID-19. That is almost 10% of the population. That means, of ten people with whom you will interact this day, one will have had it or are suffering from it now. Also, the latest death toll is 544,424. Hence, if you have not lost a relative or friend from COVID-19, you know someone who has suffered such loss.  Let us look back a year ago and compare it to last week. First, there were still hate crimes and acts of intolerance against ethno-racial minorities, only the last weeks have seen an increase in racism towards Asians--since they are being accused of bringing the virus to America (even if they were born here and never left).  There was an incidence of our President sli...

 Let's talk about race. One thing Americans never seem to get tired of is talking about race and what is racist. For instance, it was not enough that the leftists want to ruin many childhood icons, like Sesame Street, Disney, Mr. Potato Head, and toy stores in particular. Now, their ravenous mouths water in the direction of Dr. Seuss. There has been a campaign started by our new president to remove Dr. Seuss books from the shelves. Why? Because the books are "racist." Seriously? So, Dr. Seuss is inappropriate, but King and King isn't? This is what America has come to, ladies and gentlemen. How many minorities actually campaigned against Dr. Seuss? {crickets chirping} Now, how many so-ashamed-to-be-White left-wing radicals are against Dr. Seuss? {marching, shouting, torches flaring} That's what I thought. Strike 2, Biden.  Afraid to lose power of the mob, the fascists are attacking another icon of American culture. They never tire of trying to divide us further. On...

I read an interesting article this week from The Atlantic, discussing why African-American congregants are leaving "White" or multiethnic churches. While some were offended by the criticism of church leaders for those who did not come to church in the earlier months because of COVID-19 fears (especially from those with pre-existing conditions), most respondents left because of issues surrounding the lynching of George Floyd. Because of the fact that this is a major social issue, they were angry that their pastors or at least the church leaders would not make an issue about it. They would just ignore it or decry the looting. Because of how the killing affected nearly every African-American person in some way, they expected their church families to at least check in with them and see how they are doing.  When their churches were silent when silence was not an acceptable answer, they left, feeling betrayed. (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/10/why-black-parishio...

 Another interesting, eventful week. Where do I start? First, there's the death of the one of the most powerful nursemaids to leftist radicals, Supreme Court "Justice" Ginsberg. Okay, to be fair, she has done some good things and have made a few positive changes. Still, to a person who believes that life begins at conception, that sexuality is a private issue alone, and that small minorities should not force their issues on the majority (with a few exceptions), some of her rulings are an affront to morality, freedom, and even nature. That being said, I found it interesting how people showed disrespect to Ginsberg and other mourners by booing the President when he came to her casket. The irony is, if he did not come to honor her memory, people would have booed him for not coming. With leftist radicals, you cannot win.  As for him nominating a candidate to take over  Ginsberg's place, good for him! We need an even balance of liberalism and conservatism in the Supreme Co...

 So, this has been quite a week. It started with the news that The Wife to get tested for COVID-19 because someone very reckless manager let a client stay in a room where my wife was volunteering. Fortunately, she came back negative, which is good news for both of us. That is still wrong of him. With all the nonsense going on, you do not let a person complaining of COVID-19 symptoms stay with others. That is just wrong, inconsiderate, and dangerous. Shame on him! Next, for those who know me best, I suffer from depression, and I take medication for it. For a while, I was off of it because I did not want to be dependent on medication anymore. Plus, I don't like the side effects. For a while, I was off of the medication, but I noticed my depression was worsening, and I could only focus on how difficult my life has been: financial problems for the past 4 years, disrespect at work, the death of my aunt, COVID-19, my paternal grandma getting COVID-19 and my old man not telling me about i...

Today was very sultry! Fortunately, I was able to spend most of the time indoors. When I got up this morning, after taking care of an unpleasant errand, I went to Panera Bread and did some writing on my book. I was able to get much accomplished since I had gotten many messages and texts. I received two comments about my post from yesterday. One person told me to "judge not, lest ye be judged, " and another accused me of gossiping and being one-sided. First the former comment. So many people, young and old, conservative and liberal, misquote that passage from the Gospel of John, seventh chapter. They do this to keep people from confronting them about their sins and because they are not interested in changing. Many will use their legal protected classes statuses for this, and many will use their youth or old age. People get tired of this from others. Those who are protected eventually are targeted, and while recalcitrant children eventually get the rod, elderly "good old...

It's vacation time! I was even able to leave early today. Hurrah! It's also Juneteenth! I arose this morning, added the red, black, and green flag just below the American flag on my car antenna, and I said the African-American pledge of allegiance. I am sure people are wondering what the African-American Pledge of Allegiance is and why we have it. First, here is the the answer to the first question. The African-American Pledge of Allegiance We pledge allegiance of the red, black and green Our flag, the symbol of our eternal struggle and to the land we must obtain. As for the second question, such a pledge, which is one of several for the same purpose, is mean to unify people for the sake of a common need and a common identity. Alas, African-Americans have a rich culture that is different from African or even Caribbean cultures. There are certain things that African Americans understand about each other that are foreign to all others, while there are things ...

Well, the fun continues! Some overly sensitive people, in response to the riots, felt that it was time to retire two common American logos: Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben.They think that they are offensive and it is time to "evolve" their logos. Look at these. Do they look stereotypical? Do they look offensive? Of course, the origin of the titles Aunt and Uncle were offensive. In Jim Crow South, if a White person wanted to be "polite" to an elderly African-American man or woman, he would not call them sir or ma'am, so the only other option was to call the woman Aunt or Auntie and to call the man Uncle. Granted, Aunt Jemima's origins are racist. For generations, they have shown her logo looking like an ugly mammy. In fact, one logo showed her with the pancake flour on her face to make her look paler, while the one that stuck the longest had her with looking less stereotypical but with the same kerchief on her head and with mild blackface.         Since ...

Last week of work before vacation. Huzzah! I'll still go to my Saturday job, though. That's a cakewalk compared to social work, and I get free pastries! I probably should go easy on the pastries though. I already have the gut of a woman who is 5 months pregnant. Just kidding! I bought my tickets to the monastery, I confirmed my itinerary with the Reverend Father, and it is all settled. It is going to be great to get away for a few days, to be in the middle on nowhere and commune with the Lord in contemplation and reflection. In actuality, I knew about this place for over 10 years, but this is my first time going. It was my plan that, if I were not married by 40, I would settle all debts and join a Lutheran monastery. Well, that didn't happen, but the principles of a monk have not really departed from me. In fact, I consider myself sort of an independent friar. Both monks and friars take similar vows, but friars do not separate themselves from society. Instead, they serv...

Today was slightly better. I had to deal with a client who is chronically sick who is starting to reject treatment necessary to live. This same client is going mad from cabin fever since he cannot safely go out until the pandemic ends. I hope we can get him back on track; I don't need another client dying on me. I am just tired. I am so glad that my vacation is coming up. I am excited about getting on the train and going to the monastery for a few days. I have been longing to go to a place that is far away from everyone and everything. My peace of mind continues to slip out of my grasp, and I want it back. I want to feel sane again. At least I had a chance to get a portion of normal back tonight. My Working Stiffs Bible Study reconvened. It was great to have the Bible study with my group again. Even The Wife (sorry, Kristaleh; this is just my writing style) and our Vicar came. I will be returning to my Saturday job this week, and I will be able to fika again with She Sits by the ...

Another rough day. They had this call-in meeting at work, and we talked about the latest events with a few speakers and the CEO. The meeting was okay for a while, but then this speaker, an educated woman, said that the riots had to happen. When she said this, I ended the call. I could not bear to listen to her anymore. I have heard people trivialize the damages and losses of those whose businesses were looted and vandalized by bringing up the 99th anniversary of the Tulsa Race Massacre. I have no patience for such people. Let me tell you about the Tulsa Race Massacre that started on June 1st, 1921. A group of armed veterans tried to protect themselves from an angry lynch mob. As a result, the lynch mob shot and killed African-Americans randomly, burning down the entire neighborhood. This lynch mob hated the fact that Blacks were doing better than them and needed the slightest excuse take away all they have earned. I have done much research on this, and I wrote a novel about it . The ...

This woman says exactly what has been on my mind.  These so-called activists are hypocrites. Chicago, just like other American cities, has had its own Kristallnacht, in which the perpetrators feel that such destruction is what is needed demonstrate that Black Lives Matter. The same weekend of the riots, there were, again, 92 shootings with 37 fatalities. Just like every week, most of these shootings take place in predominately Black areas. I know I make enemies, but until Black men stop shooting each over over gang rivalry or to protect one's rep, until Black women stop going to Planned Parenthood to have their unborn children murdered, and until Black people stop chanting "No Justice, No Peace" and start chanting "No Responsibility, no Respect", I will not be convinced that Black lives truly matter to all Black people. If I, as a Black man, am not convinced, why should others? Out of curiosity, I went to the Black Lives Matter website to look at their missi...

Another sad day. As I went to an outreach client's house, I saw people boarding up their businesses on Division Street. On Division and Paulina, I saw that the Target was boarding their windows a few hours too late. I also saw on Ashland, where my client gets his medicine and household goods, with all of its windows shattered. On the I-90/94, there was an influx of graffiti, especially the initial VTC, which I have learned means Vandalize the City. I had to pull over to restrain my emotions. Alas, I was on the job, and I am tired, damn tired, of shedding tears. Yes, today I wept for Lady Chicago. I have always loved her, even though I had to leave her. Lady Chicago has a unique beauty, a style, a flair, and an abundance of class. Sadly over the years, corporations, corrupt politicians, and rebels with false causes have seduced my first love, promising her power and eternal fame. So, she turned away from the family that built and nurtured her and the lover that protected her and l...

This was a bad day. All over the country today, even if my hometown, Chicago, there is rioting. Yes, some areas have peaceful protests where police officers have even joined them, but in Chicago, its suburbs, such as North Riverside, Tinley Park, Orland Park, etc, as well as Atlanta, New York, Dallas, Los Angeles, Seattle, Phoenix, and, of course, Minneapolis, people are burning buildings, firebombing police cars, throwing things at officers, turning over vehicles, spray painting, and so forth. There was even a demonstration across the pond, in London! Many news networks still call these punks "protesters, so allow me to summarize what I wrote last night: While some of these rioters and looters are opportunists or more violent factions of BLM, there is much evidence that White supremacists have provoked the protesters, and Antifa has taken a great hand in hijacking peaceful demonstrations, turning them into riots. This is why the President has declared them a terrorist org...

An angry world has become angrier. A frightened world just became more frightened. Minneapolis is on fire, and looters follow angry protesters, ruining what could be a noble movement. People express bitterness against the police--those who are sworn to serve and protect. While some officers uphold their oath, others choose to serve their hatred and protect their egos on steroids. As a result, Mayor Frey is demanding the arrest of the villainous swine who lynched George Lloyd. Every single organization with an agenda has expressed outrage. Conservative groups, liberal groups, religious leaders, actors, singers, and politicians finally have something in common: they have seen a gross injustice, and they are outraged. Even with all the sadly ironic division during the pandemic, only now are people starting to hold hands and sing kumbaya. All it took was the murder of a Black man. I'm glad it is finally happening, but how long will it have the right effect? Who will ruin it, like the...

When you are a mental health social worker, there is never a dull moment. Never. This is especially true with the lockdown. This lockdown has made some of my clients rather symptomatic. There have been bouts of depression, increased anxiety, and then there has been delusions and paranoia. I had to petition a client today for involuntary admission after he kept harassing another client and became physical. Because he was angry with me for calling 911 and being forced to go to the hospital, he started screaming at me, calling me a liar, a traitor, and a nigger. Let's pause for a moment. Those who know me best know how much I hate that word. I don't care if it is said as an insult, a reprimand, or a term of endearment. I don't care if you are as white-skinned as Emma Stone, as black-skinned as Don Cheadle, or everything in between. I don't care if your best friend is Black, Your spouse is Black, or if you gave your life savings to the United Negro College Fund. If you ca...

We had the funeral. It was just as emotional as I anticipated. We more or less observed social distancing, and we had a down-home funeral service for my aunt. I almost forgot I was Lutheran! haha I was glad to have the wife there to support me, and of course my mother was there, and Jayla, my cousin Putty's teen daughter, sat with us. She took it very roughly, losing her grandmother, Putty was hanging on, but at the finally viewing, she broke down. Then Jayla. Then, yes, me. Not only was I responding to everyone else's pain, but losing so many people around me, especially Ms. Sommese, was just too overwhelming. I know that Aunt Hattie, Ms. Sommese, the Holstein's, and my clients are in better places, but it still hurts. Even now do I feel as if I still have rain and thunder left. I say it a million times, I AM BLOODY WELL SICK OF DEATH! Can I get an Amen? All I can say is, if ever the time came that I lost my mother and wife at the same time (God forbid), someone may need...

It seems that everyone needs a scapegoat. Whenever there is a tragedy in this world, we quickly point fingers at the most vulnerable parties. During the Bubonic Plague, Europeans attacked Jews because they felt that they wanted to kill Christians by poisoning wells. These days in America, people are staying away from Chinatowns across the country and even Chinese restaurants simply because the COVID-19 outbreak started in China. There are some who even believe that this virus was artificially created in China as a weapon of mass destruction.  Now it seems that in China, in the Guangdong province, where this all began, Chinese politicians and civilians are pointing the finger at foreigners from Africa or who are just Black. When 11 African in Guangzhou tested positive for COVID-19, city officials put all of the city's Black residents under mandatory quarantine, forcing them to stay in their homes. Landlords have responded by evicting Black tenants, and business owners hav...