My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

 Hello, everyone, and thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I'm doing better, and the medication is helping. It's not a cure-all, though. I just need to keep praying, and and make a wide berth from all negativity.  Good news: the prior from the monastery finally called back. He has been in physical pain all summer after getting treatment for a serious illness (it's not COVID-19). Please pray for him. He told me that I am actually well ahead of him in preparing for my oblation due to my reading and trying to keep a daily prayer pattern of Vespers, and sometimes Compline, Terce, and None. I am glad to continue since, while it is nice to be wanted by the Catholics, I am a Lutheran. I may use incense and use not-so-holy water when I pray at my altar, but there will be no Hail Mary's or Salve Regina's in front of a statue. Do I love and respect Mary as the mother of my Savior? Of course. Will I "cry to her" call her my "hope", or ask for her "...

 So, this has been quite a week. It started with the news that The Wife to get tested for COVID-19 because someone very reckless manager let a client stay in a room where my wife was volunteering. Fortunately, she came back negative, which is good news for both of us. That is still wrong of him. With all the nonsense going on, you do not let a person complaining of COVID-19 symptoms stay with others. That is just wrong, inconsiderate, and dangerous. Shame on him! Next, for those who know me best, I suffer from depression, and I take medication for it. For a while, I was off of it because I did not want to be dependent on medication anymore. Plus, I don't like the side effects. For a while, I was off of the medication, but I noticed my depression was worsening, and I could only focus on how difficult my life has been: financial problems for the past 4 years, disrespect at work, the death of my aunt, COVID-19, my paternal grandma getting COVID-19 and my old man not telling me about i...

Today was very eventful. It was also my last day at St. Augustine's House. I will be coming home in the morning. While it is great to be on the mountain for a few days, it is time for me to grasp some of the gems I found and return to the plain. Before I go further, I made one minor error. The term the Reverend Father used is called "trans-rational analysis," not "trans-reason analysis." Mea culpa. In talking with The Wife last night, she gave me her blessing to join the Fellowship of St. Augustine, or, more formally, the Congregation of the Servants of Christ. I therefore completed the application for membership, handed it over to the Reverend Father, and I am now an oblate. After Dinner (lunch), I took a hike in the forest and almost stepped on a snake. Don't worry; it was a garter snake, and it ran away. After None prayers, I did some writing and then took the Reverend Father's dog, Midnight, for a walk. Rather, he took ME for a walk! At Vespers, ...

This has been a reflective day for me. I was able to meditate more. I also talked to the Reverend Father about issues I have been having. It has been a while since I have been able to sit and talk with a clergyman about my problems and experiences. He assured me that we all feel trapped eventually, which is how I have been feeling--partly the reason why I have quadragentaphobia (Yes, it's a word; look it up). He explained quite a bit to me. He told me about trans-reason analysis. By this, if I an trapped in a proverbial box where nothing makes sense, rise out of the box to analyze other boxes to get the big picture. He taught me about how to look for resolutions when there are no solutions in sight, and that finding a resolution is a shared task between me and anyone who shares the problem or is affected by it. He also talked about what dead churches look like and the characteristics of those who don't care that their church is dying.He acknowledged that there are those who m...

Made it to the monastery! The train was an hour late in arriving because they were having brake problems long after we left Union Station. So annoying; it seems as if I always have problems when I travel. The place is very nice--right in the middle of the forest. Very quiet too. The Father Superior is the one who picked me up at the station, clad in a brown cassock, cincture, and scapular with a hood. He even wore the traditional sandals. He told me the history of the only Lutheran monastery in America, and one of three in the world. I will take many pictures and post them--including of my room, which is twice the size I thought it would be. I would write more, but I need to get to bed. After all, matins are at 5:10 in the morning. --Signing off.