My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

 Friends,  Though I debated whether or not it was worth it, I wrote Illinois Senators Durbin and Duckworth to explain why they should vote No for the Equality Act . The letter is posted below, and I strongly urge you to write to them also. Unless they are full slaves to lobbyists or wants to destroy this country like the tycoon Soros, they MUST listen to their constituents. You can edit this letter to suit your style, but I strongly urge you to write to them. If you don't want to write, call them. Their information is in the link to my last post.  Silence is not an option. To do nothing is to take a stand against freedom for all Americans! After all, if Equality Act is allowed to become law, this will only be the first step towards a fascist regime, a communist regime, where everyone is too afraid to stand up for what is right and is only a shell of a human being with no heart or soul. It's time we all put our foots down.  Dear Senator, I am writing about the H.R..5 ...

 This is not a special report. I am writing this an evening early because I have a tremendous need to vent. First, I did receive my booster shot on Tuesday, and as of February 16th, I will be fully vaccinated, Halleluya!  Vaccines for those over age 65 are now being offered, but I am hearing that those eligible are not able to make appointments. Perhaps there are first responders and other essential workers who still have not gotten theirs. Perhaps they the supply is not keeping up with the demand. Whatever the reason, be patient. Your time for vaccination is coming. Yes, there are reports that there are new strains of the virus, but the people who inform us of this are some of the same people still encouraging us to get vaccinated, so let's not kill the vaccine in the crib. Besides, a few years ago, they told us that there was a new strain of influenza found that may deem regular vaccines ineffective. Were there unusual outbreaks of influenza that year? I think not. So, if yo...

 Hello again. Many of you have been very encouraging about me continuing to write blog posts indefinitely. I was originally going to resurrect my previous blog, The Silver Soapbox, but I am not set on it. But, when I retire this blog, you can be assured that I will keep blogging. For those who have been religiously reading, you have my humble thanks. I know you may sometimes disagree with me, but I am comforted that my thoughts and opinions are safe with most of you.  As a special feature, here is a poem I wrote today. It testified to how I have been feeling since the Inauguration. Hope it inspires you. Since I was young, I loved America It was my proud, happy home And I was proud to be born here My teachers taught me rights and liberties My mother taught me responsibilities and morals Freedom came at a cost, and we all had to pay My feelings and wants were beneath The good of the people The security of the Republic And the fear of God We learned that we ar...

I read an interesting article this week from The Atlantic, discussing why African-American congregants are leaving "White" or multiethnic churches. While some were offended by the criticism of church leaders for those who did not come to church in the earlier months because of COVID-19 fears (especially from those with pre-existing conditions), most respondents left because of issues surrounding the lynching of George Floyd. Because of the fact that this is a major social issue, they were angry that their pastors or at least the church leaders would not make an issue about it. They would just ignore it or decry the looting. Because of how the killing affected nearly every African-American person in some way, they expected their church families to at least check in with them and see how they are doing.  When their churches were silent when silence was not an acceptable answer, they left, feeling betrayed. (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/10/why-black-parishio...

People had really gotten on my nerves this week. First, you have toilet matter masquerading as humans still attacking police officers who are just doing their jobs when they come to stop them from illegally destroying property, such as the Christopher Columbus statue Then Mayor Lighthead (you read me) ordered the overnight removal of the statue that police had injured themselves protecting to placate the samboes. (PS: read the last post to know what I am talking about.  Mind you, I don't like mass murderers like Columbus. It disgusts me that a halfway civilized society would have statues celebrating Columbus or General Sheridan. Regardless, she did not remove the statue because of how she felt about him. She did it for publicity. Now calls herself trying to defy the President when he threatened to send federal agents to Chicago to do the job she will not do: quell the riots and stop the shooting.  Ms. Mayor, more people are being shot this weekend like all weekends, and what a...

Today was very productive. I took a walk in the park even though it was hot, and I read from the Rule of St. Benedict. I read the chapter about the 12 steps to humility. So much is involved with this. Click here to learn them in detail.  What struck me most, especially with all that is transpiring, is making myself inferior to all. In that same light, I am expected to be obedient even in the face of injustice. Maybe I am not reading that correctly. I know that I am to offer the other cheek when one is struck, but I only have two cheeks. Surely I am not expected to deny my humanity too, for the sake of humility.  When I came home, I saw that the Reverend Father wrote back. He said that he received my messages and will get back to me once he could compose a "comprehensive response." People of faith, please pray that he will allow my period of discernment to begin very soon.  Later today, I met with my Bible study group, and I gave them the news: I plan to transfer to...

One hundred days. I have been doing this blog for 100 days, or 3 1/3 months, every day, non-stop. These days have certainly not been uneventful. There have been the closure of businesses, people not respecting restrictions, politicians and others abusing the restrictions, a great surge in cases, rampant death, missing church, a church being burned down for challenging the local government, a Black man being murdered by a police officer in broad daylight, protests, riots, destruction of monuments, the skin color of looters and arsonists, returning to church under social distancing, and then discrimination by possible churchians. Then, there have been my aunt's death, issues at work, my quadragintaphobia, and my visit to the monastery. We started with Phase 1, the growth of COVID-19, Phase 2, the most lethal stage, which is where everything non-essential was closed and there was an increase in unemployment, thereby necessitating the need for stimulus checks, and where so many peopl...

I am back from my retreat refreshed and able to tackle the world better. I guess I missed a few things while I was gone. First, I learned that over 80 people were shot in Chicago over the weekend, and about a dozen of those died, including a few children. One girl was sitting in her house and a bullet came in from her window. A man killed two teenagers for, wait for it, asking how tall he was. Black Lives Matter, indeed. Let the record show, friends, that those who murdered Black people over the weekend were Black! Not cops, not even rednecks or good old boys, but Black civilians! I read how supposed Black activists are offended when a person, usually White, mentions that there are good cops, show dissent for the looking and rioting, say all lives matter, or mention the deaths and random shootings in African-American neighborhoods. If that is the route they choose, then they should change their name Barbaric Black and Intellectually Stupid White Lives Matter. So, to them, Black L...

First full, and long, day at the monastery. Since I had gotten in late last night, I didn't get up on time for Matins (or Vigils), which is at 5:10 AM, but I did make it for Lauds, Terce, Holy Eucharist, Sext, None, Vespers, and Compline. Very beautiful and simplistic simple chanting. Almost as cleansing as the Missionary Baptist call to worship chant (aka I Love the Lord; He Heard My Cry). The food isn't the best so far (for a picky eater like me), but I was prepared for this. Besides, the food was the least of my motivation to come. There are three monks here, with two "fathers," including Father John Cochran, the Father Superior. A "father" is simply an ordained pastor who is also a monk. There is also a postulant who is an immigrant from Korea. There were also 3 Lay Benedictines who are residents here, and a father and a son who are visitors. I have been invited by the Reverend Father to become a Lay Benedictine. As I almost consider myself an independ...

Most of today was good. I returned to the office, and I was in for a busy day. It was great to be back. I will not miss being exiled from my office and having to lug around the dossiers of all of my clients. We still cannot drive people, but it's a start. I have had so much on my mind this week, but I am going to focus on two things tonight. First, I often reflect on why it is so difficult for younger people to go to church. Sure, some are bored by the liturgy or do not thing Christianity or church life are not hip and sophisticated enough. In my life, I have been a member of 4 churches, and all four have certain things in common. First, there are those who make the most noise on Sunday but live godless lives all other days of the week. Next, there is petty bickering back and forth and just general meanness. After all, why give up having fun with friends when you can just go to church and be around a bunch of mean people who do nothing but yell and argue, right? Third, those who ...

I received some good news today. First, I am no longer exiled from my office. I can start working on-site again. Hallelujah! There are still things I cannot do, such as drive clients and stay in enclosed spaces with them, but I will be able to have my office again. In the words of Mabel Simmons: "Halleluyer! Praise de Lort!" 😁 More good news: my church can start worshiping inside now, with social distancing of course. I have seen it done, and it will work. It has worked. I know that there are others who are still uncomfortable coming inside, but it is time. The virus is being controlled, we have been taught what viruses can and cannot cling to and for how long. Besides, other churches just as small as us are letting people inside with the same rules, and these churches have vulnerable people too: elderly, sick, et cetera. Another thing: summer is coming, and Chicago summers can be extremely hot. It was in the 80's and 90's in late May even. Do we want our clergy to...

I am so glad it is Friday and that the weekend is coming. Just two more weeks until my much-needed vacation. For those who may ask, I will still do my posts when I am in the monastery. They might be a little late if there is little to no internet. When the monks are working, I plan to use that time writing my book. This was a ridiculous day. Since my program director wanted me to get groceries at Costco for a while until I can take clients grocery shopping again, I spent practically two hours in that place because their setup was out of order, and so was the shopping list. On top of that, the store was surprisingly busy for a Friday morning, and I hate crowds like that; they make me nervous! Social distancing helped nothing either. When, oh, when, will these restrictions end?! It was in the 90's today, and I was so hot wearing that stupid mask. My agency had better give us some concrete answers soon; this is driving me bloody insane! Before I go further, a big thank you to Past...

Today is so far the best of the week. First, my congregation is preparing for a drive-in worship service this Sunday. Halleluyah! We can finally return to church, even if it is outside. I am even going to sing my hymn about being brave and having hope in the Lord even during the pandemic. If uses the tune of the Dutch National Anthem. I'll post the lyrics below. Second, I spoke to one of the organizers of the GoFundMe campaign for my alma mater. As it turns out, they did not know anything about my campaign. In fact, one of them was once burned by the "leadership" committee too. Again, some things never change. She agreed with me that the way I was treated was not only wrong, but un-Christian. They have invited me to join their campaign and other plans they have (Top secret, friends!), and I have accepted.  I just want to reflect a little more on how I was treated. It is like certain people were like a mad dog that was starving to death. I hold out a biscuit for them, ...

Today was better than yesterday, but I still had a weight in my stomach. I still worry about Putty and Grandma. I pray that they will be all right. I heard about how LA will extend their lockdown until August. August. That's a good portion of the summer. While I am not a fan of California, I know that summer is very important. Imagine closed or restricted beaches, restaurants, bars, clubs, etc. But then. imagine the unemployment. The percentage of people who are unemployed in this country has skyrocketed for the first time in several years. Some even say that the Great Depression is the only unemployment period worse than now. No wonder people are upset and are fighting against the state governments. But then, there are the deaths. Illinois has faced its highest spike so far--192 deaths in 24 hours. What about the percentage of those officially diagnosed? Has that also decreased? Is this lockdown truly working as it should? Is the source of our problems the incidents of quarant...

We had the funeral. It was just as emotional as I anticipated. We more or less observed social distancing, and we had a down-home funeral service for my aunt. I almost forgot I was Lutheran! haha I was glad to have the wife there to support me, and of course my mother was there, and Jayla, my cousin Putty's teen daughter, sat with us. She took it very roughly, losing her grandmother, Putty was hanging on, but at the finally viewing, she broke down. Then Jayla. Then, yes, me. Not only was I responding to everyone else's pain, but losing so many people around me, especially Ms. Sommese, was just too overwhelming. I know that Aunt Hattie, Ms. Sommese, the Holstein's, and my clients are in better places, but it still hurts. Even now do I feel as if I still have rain and thunder left. I say it a million times, I AM BLOODY WELL SICK OF DEATH! Can I get an Amen? All I can say is, if ever the time came that I lost my mother and wife at the same time (God forbid), someone may need...

What started as a decent day went gradually downhill. The highlight of the day, ironically speaking, was when someone I sent a post of this blog to did not like my opinions and deemed them unsolicited. Instead of telling me directly, they complained to a third party who then accused me of using a public email group meant for something unrelated. I cannot give more details than this regrettably. These two issues are in the Top 5 of my pet peeve list because I cannot abide people talking about be behind closed doors, and I absolutely hate being accused falsely, especially on hearsay. It is an insult to my honor. We are supposed to be better than this. We are all adults and all involved parties are supposed to be Christians. I thought that the isolation and loneliness most of us feel would teach us how to treat each other. I don't bite, and I am not made of glass. If a person does not care to hear my opinions, they should be adults and tell me to my proverbial face. In fact, if an...

This was a good day. I didn't feel like driving all the way to Schaumburg, but I watched church livestream. Dad called in the middle of it, so I texted him to tell him that I would call him back after church. He was worried because he thought I was in an actual church during the lockdown. Still, if everyone takes precautions as we should, why not? Just think of the Schaumburg church from last Sunday, or the drive-in churches the Christophobes are trying to close down. Also,  I received the best new of the year today. My best friend and her family are moving back to Chicagoland! I'm so happy I could ululate! Hopefully things will get better for them. I would almost rather live in Tennessee than Illinois, but at least life in Illinois is about to get brighter!  Okay, so it is now time for beard check. I know it grew a little. My wife suggested growing sideburns to make the beard look better, but I like the Egyptian look better. Besides, if I grow sideburns now, it wil...

Another busy day today. Since Instacart failed me, I needed order pickup via Jewel. As soon as I pulled into the designated sub-lot, a worker came and took my information, and he brought the groceries for my clients immediately. Very sweet! On the other hand, I had a taste for Chinese food today, but the place where we usually order was closed. Surprisingly, most Chinese restaurants are closed nearby, and I have read how Chinatown is suffering because they have lost 70%-80% of their patronage. People, you are not going to get sick from eating Chinese food! The restaurant where I order, New China in Summit, IL, is one of the only Chinese restaurants, except for Chi-Tung in Evergreen Park, where you can get Chinese food as good as you can find it in the city or Chinatown. The only remote danger in a typical Chinese dish is hypertension, and that is only in dished loaded in sodium. There's nothing stereotypical in Chinese food prepared in America. If you ask for chicken, you get chi...

More bad news today. Illinois faced its deadliest day. This day, 125 people died from this plague, bringing the death toll to 1,072 and the total infections over 25,000. Both Lightfoot and Pritzker say that the curve is flattening and that they are still trying to decide if they will go easy on the lockdown or not, whilst Indiana and Wisconsin are prolonging it well into May. Because non-essential businesses have been forbidden to open, millions of Americans are seeking unemployment benefits because they have been furloughed or simply laid off. This is madness. Thank God I am an essential worker. What are everyone laid off going to do? Who is hiring now? How many of these stimulus checks can the government disperse? Speaking of checks, I figured out why I didn't get mine yet. Because the government likes to overtax married couples without children, I only received state refunds for the last two years. I ended up having to pay more money to my least favorite relative: Uncle Sam....

Today was a little better. I had gotten nowhere with Instacart, so I had to waste another hour of my schedule reordering groceries with Jewel delivery. I will never use Instacart again. Maybe they are biting off more than they can chew with the pandemic, but they are useless now. There are other delivery/pick-up services. God bless America! At least our governor has given us more good news. It appears that the curve has come and that the worst is likely behind us. We cannot see the sun yet, but at least the clouds are clearing. Sure, no one and nothing will ever be the same, but at least in a month, God willing, the children will be back in school, and social life will return. I saw a very clever music video about staying safe in COVID-19, taking the tune for the Sound of Music's Do-Re-Mi. Listen for yourselves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMBh-eo3tvE I continue to think about the COVID-19 prepared church I visited in Schaumburg on Resurrection Sunday. They had every othe...