My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

I read an interesting article this week from The Atlantic, discussing why African-American congregants are leaving "White" or multiethnic churches. While some were offended by the criticism of church leaders for those who did not come to church in the earlier months because of COVID-19 fears (especially from those with pre-existing conditions), most respondents left because of issues surrounding the lynching of George Floyd. Because of the fact that this is a major social issue, they were angry that their pastors or at least the church leaders would not make an issue about it. They would just ignore it or decry the looting. Because of how the killing affected nearly every African-American person in some way, they expected their church families to at least check in with them and see how they are doing.  When their churches were silent when silence was not an acceptable answer, they left, feeling betrayed. (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/10/why-black-parishio...

 This has not been the best week. First,  I had to argue with health-based providers about them not doing their job. Then, on Friday, my morning started, among other unpleasant things, with me approaching my car to see that someone hit it the night before, and I did not see a note.  Look at my poor car! The person's light obviously broke, and they didn't bother to clean it up. Because of the dent in the bumper cover, it is hard to open and close the hatch. Thankfully, my next door neighbor admitted that her sister slammed into it, but that she left a note. Well, either someone removed it or the wind blew it away. Or, perhaps she is lying. I had to talk to my neighbor's husband to get her phone number because the woman was supposed to call me but didn't. Now, she is taking her sweet time to give me her insurance information. She said that she is going through hard times, but so am I. Wrecking my car does not help. I am prepared to be a thorn in her side until I get her i...

Black Lives Don’t Matter That caught you by horrid surprise Did it not? Do you think this is written By a murderous Klansman Or an ignorant Karen? No, I am a Black man A frustrated Black man A tired Black man A Black man who sees the hypocrisy Of all of the Black Lives Matter posters In the windows of houses and businesses Because of the lack of justice For dozens of Blacks Murdered by Klansmen in Blue Where the hell was your indignation On Friday and Saturday nights When hundreds of brothers, sisters And even babies Are shot to death By other brothers? Where was it When sisters place their millions Of unborn children On the altars of Margaret Sanger Who only wanted to see the Black nation Wither away and die? Where was it When hardworking Black brothers and sisters Watched the businesses they struggled to build Burned to the ground Because Black lives supposedly matter? What about Black police officers Who were br...

Today was a peaceful day for me. I went to my Sunday job, bought groceries, and did some barbecuing. I also made an important decision today. After much prayer and many knots in my stomach, I finally made a decision to give something else. While I cannot say what I am giving up, I finally feel relaxed and at peace with my decision. Giving up something important to me is never easy, but I try hard to be a gentleman, and a gentleman always knows when to leave. So, that is all for the peaceful news. Now let us return to the violence because that is just want happened in Atlanta today. Rayshard Brooks was drinking and driving, and he decided to sleep it off in a Wendy's drive-thru. The police were called, and they made him take a sobriety test. When he failed, they tried to arrest him, but he starting fighting them. Somehow, he managed to take a taser away from the officer and started running. He then turned and pointed the taser at the officer, who then fired three times, killing Br...

I am so glad it is Friday and that the weekend is coming. Just two more weeks until my much-needed vacation. For those who may ask, I will still do my posts when I am in the monastery. They might be a little late if there is little to no internet. When the monks are working, I plan to use that time writing my book. This was a ridiculous day. Since my program director wanted me to get groceries at Costco for a while until I can take clients grocery shopping again, I spent practically two hours in that place because their setup was out of order, and so was the shopping list. On top of that, the store was surprisingly busy for a Friday morning, and I hate crowds like that; they make me nervous! Social distancing helped nothing either. When, oh, when, will these restrictions end?! It was in the 90's today, and I was so hot wearing that stupid mask. My agency had better give us some concrete answers soon; this is driving me bloody insane! Before I go further, a big thank you to Past...

Today was slightly better. I had to deal with a client who is chronically sick who is starting to reject treatment necessary to live. This same client is going mad from cabin fever since he cannot safely go out until the pandemic ends. I hope we can get him back on track; I don't need another client dying on me. I am just tired. I am so glad that my vacation is coming up. I am excited about getting on the train and going to the monastery for a few days. I have been longing to go to a place that is far away from everyone and everything. My peace of mind continues to slip out of my grasp, and I want it back. I want to feel sane again. At least I had a chance to get a portion of normal back tonight. My Working Stiffs Bible Study reconvened. It was great to have the Bible study with my group again. Even The Wife (sorry, Kristaleh; this is just my writing style) and our Vicar came. I will be returning to my Saturday job this week, and I will be able to fika again with She Sits by the ...

Another rough day. They had this call-in meeting at work, and we talked about the latest events with a few speakers and the CEO. The meeting was okay for a while, but then this speaker, an educated woman, said that the riots had to happen. When she said this, I ended the call. I could not bear to listen to her anymore. I have heard people trivialize the damages and losses of those whose businesses were looted and vandalized by bringing up the 99th anniversary of the Tulsa Race Massacre. I have no patience for such people. Let me tell you about the Tulsa Race Massacre that started on June 1st, 1921. A group of armed veterans tried to protect themselves from an angry lynch mob. As a result, the lynch mob shot and killed African-Americans randomly, burning down the entire neighborhood. This lynch mob hated the fact that Blacks were doing better than them and needed the slightest excuse take away all they have earned. I have done much research on this, and I wrote a novel about it . The ...

This woman says exactly what has been on my mind.  These so-called activists are hypocrites. Chicago, just like other American cities, has had its own Kristallnacht, in which the perpetrators feel that such destruction is what is needed demonstrate that Black Lives Matter. The same weekend of the riots, there were, again, 92 shootings with 37 fatalities. Just like every week, most of these shootings take place in predominately Black areas. I know I make enemies, but until Black men stop shooting each over over gang rivalry or to protect one's rep, until Black women stop going to Planned Parenthood to have their unborn children murdered, and until Black people stop chanting "No Justice, No Peace" and start chanting "No Responsibility, no Respect", I will not be convinced that Black lives truly matter to all Black people. If I, as a Black man, am not convinced, why should others? Out of curiosity, I went to the Black Lives Matter website to look at their missi...

Another sad day. As I went to an outreach client's house, I saw people boarding up their businesses on Division Street. On Division and Paulina, I saw that the Target was boarding their windows a few hours too late. I also saw on Ashland, where my client gets his medicine and household goods, with all of its windows shattered. On the I-90/94, there was an influx of graffiti, especially the initial VTC, which I have learned means Vandalize the City. I had to pull over to restrain my emotions. Alas, I was on the job, and I am tired, damn tired, of shedding tears. Yes, today I wept for Lady Chicago. I have always loved her, even though I had to leave her. Lady Chicago has a unique beauty, a style, a flair, and an abundance of class. Sadly over the years, corporations, corrupt politicians, and rebels with false causes have seduced my first love, promising her power and eternal fame. So, she turned away from the family that built and nurtured her and the lover that protected her and l...

Before I begin, I want to correct myself on one thing. I kept calling the subject of the rioters George Lloyd, when his name is George Floyd. My apologies. What started as a protest last Tuesday has turned into a violent national free-for-all. In the middle of all of this, everyone continues to point fingers at everyone else. If it is not the President, it is the entire police force, the prosecutors, or the progressives. There were even acts of violence in downtown Chicago today, forcing Mayor Lightfoot to impose a curfew "until further notice." If I must blame someone, I blame the "progressives" for encouraging people to fight belligerently for their rights but ignore their responsibilities. I blame the Democratic party for making empty promises to ethnic minorities and for caring more about sexual minorities and women who want to kill unborn children than about true understanding and mutual respect. I blame the White supremacists who taught Chauvin that, in th...

This has been quite a day. First, Jewel was several hours late with groceries for my site because ten people allegedly called off today. While that is a shame, someone should have called me. Instead, their workers kept telling me that the groceries would be ready "in ten minute. Instead, they had to deliver groceries to my site after 7:30. This is the third time they have done this to me, and the last. I shall simply find another location to patronize. Well, there seems to be good new and bad news. The good news, that pig Chauvin was finally arrested and charged with murder. The bad news? They forget to arrest his accomplices. After all, they could have helped Lloyd, but they just stood there while Chauvin murdered Lloyd. The are accessories to murder, and they should be arrested also. More bad news? Minneapolis is burning, and the 3rd precinct police station was burned to the ground. I even read about how an African -American man had saved for a sports bar and was about to open...

Macchiavelli. Those who have taken Humanities in college have learned at least a little about Niccolo Machiavelli. He was a Renaissance diplomat who taught his contemporaries how to maintain power yet extend mercy and reason. One thing I remember most about him is how he asserts it is better to be feared than hated, which is why you can execute a man's father for a petty crime, and he might forgive you as long as you leave his inheritance alone. Hence, Machiavelli was, if anything else, a pragmatist. He was ruled by reason. I have seen little pragmatism in the George Lloyd matter this week. Before I continue, I want to commend the many police chiefs across the country who have condemned this hate crime and called it what it is: murder. Now, I wish to denounce Hal Marx, the mayor of Petal, Mississippi, who said, "if you can talk, you can breathe," referring to George Lloyd's last words. Has this man even graduated high school? Seriously?! It does not take an asth...

An angry world has become angrier. A frightened world just became more frightened. Minneapolis is on fire, and looters follow angry protesters, ruining what could be a noble movement. People express bitterness against the police--those who are sworn to serve and protect. While some officers uphold their oath, others choose to serve their hatred and protect their egos on steroids. As a result, Mayor Frey is demanding the arrest of the villainous swine who lynched George Lloyd. Every single organization with an agenda has expressed outrage. Conservative groups, liberal groups, religious leaders, actors, singers, and politicians finally have something in common: they have seen a gross injustice, and they are outraged. Even with all the sadly ironic division during the pandemic, only now are people starting to hold hands and sing kumbaya. All it took was the murder of a Black man. I'm glad it is finally happening, but how long will it have the right effect? Who will ruin it, like the...

I am going to digress a from my usual topic to discuss a topic that has really upset me. By now, you know what I am talking about when I tell you about the name George Lloyd and the city Minneapolis. This is a man who was murdered by Derek Chauvin, the Klansman in blue, in broad daylight and on film. Yes, he was resisting arrest. Yes, he probably was passing counterfeit bills. Still, there are ways a belligerent perpetrator can be detained and transported without chokeholds, which have been proven to be unnecessary and deadly. I have even seen footage of a man with a weapon apprehended without injury to either party. Therefore, there is no reason an unarmed man should be killed by one officer, with the blessing of three other officers. There is no reason why a cop should kneel on a man for five minutes, FIVE MINUTES, especially when the man stops resisting. Especially when he is pleading for his life, saying "I can't breathe! Everything hurts!" Don't believe me? Wat...