My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

I read an interesting article this week from The Atlantic, discussing why African-American congregants are leaving "White" or multiethnic churches. While some were offended by the criticism of church leaders for those who did not come to church in the earlier months because of COVID-19 fears (especially from those with pre-existing conditions), most respondents left because of issues surrounding the lynching of George Floyd. Because of the fact that this is a major social issue, they were angry that their pastors or at least the church leaders would not make an issue about it. They would just ignore it or decry the looting. Because of how the killing affected nearly every African-American person in some way, they expected their church families to at least check in with them and see how they are doing.  When their churches were silent when silence was not an acceptable answer, they left, feeling betrayed. (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/10/why-black-parishio...

 This has not been the best week. First,  I had to argue with health-based providers about them not doing their job. Then, on Friday, my morning started, among other unpleasant things, with me approaching my car to see that someone hit it the night before, and I did not see a note.  Look at my poor car! The person's light obviously broke, and they didn't bother to clean it up. Because of the dent in the bumper cover, it is hard to open and close the hatch. Thankfully, my next door neighbor admitted that her sister slammed into it, but that she left a note. Well, either someone removed it or the wind blew it away. Or, perhaps she is lying. I had to talk to my neighbor's husband to get her phone number because the woman was supposed to call me but didn't. Now, she is taking her sweet time to give me her insurance information. She said that she is going through hard times, but so am I. Wrecking my car does not help. I am prepared to be a thorn in her side until I get her i...

Today was a peaceful day for me. I went to my Sunday job, bought groceries, and did some barbecuing. I also made an important decision today. After much prayer and many knots in my stomach, I finally made a decision to give something else. While I cannot say what I am giving up, I finally feel relaxed and at peace with my decision. Giving up something important to me is never easy, but I try hard to be a gentleman, and a gentleman always knows when to leave. So, that is all for the peaceful news. Now let us return to the violence because that is just want happened in Atlanta today. Rayshard Brooks was drinking and driving, and he decided to sleep it off in a Wendy's drive-thru. The police were called, and they made him take a sobriety test. When he failed, they tried to arrest him, but he starting fighting them. Somehow, he managed to take a taser away from the officer and started running. He then turned and pointed the taser at the officer, who then fired three times, killing Br...

Most of today was good. I returned to the office, and I was in for a busy day. It was great to be back. I will not miss being exiled from my office and having to lug around the dossiers of all of my clients. We still cannot drive people, but it's a start. I have had so much on my mind this week, but I am going to focus on two things tonight. First, I often reflect on why it is so difficult for younger people to go to church. Sure, some are bored by the liturgy or do not thing Christianity or church life are not hip and sophisticated enough. In my life, I have been a member of 4 churches, and all four have certain things in common. First, there are those who make the most noise on Sunday but live godless lives all other days of the week. Next, there is petty bickering back and forth and just general meanness. After all, why give up having fun with friends when you can just go to church and be around a bunch of mean people who do nothing but yell and argue, right? Third, those who ...

Have you ever seen a family of geese? There is a retention pond close to my home, and for the past month, I see a goose family always walking together and eating from the ground. The father goose walks ahead of them all. He is the protector. The gander usually walks right behind the father goose. Her head is usually to the ground, and she usually shows her goslings where to find food. Then there are six goslings following their mother. I enjoy driving by the pond to watch them. There is a man named Jason who works for my village. He also goes to watch them, and so does his father. They will even give them an entire loaf of bread to eat. Nice to see people enjoying the simpler things in life. It's a joy to watch the goslings grow bigger and more grayish brown every day, casting off their fuzzy yellow coat. I wonder how much longer until they are adults. Will they stick close to their parents, or will they fly away to find their own ponds? In thinking about the riots, I have ...

Went to my Saturday job this morning after months of furlough. It was very nice to be back. I actually started to feel normal again. She Sits by the Fire and I talked about how the protesters wanted to defund the police force and how that would not work. She told me about her experiences growing up in a small Swedish sub-neighborhood in Grand Crossing and how she grew up seeing only people and potential friends, and race matters were not really an issue. I am glad that she had this experience and that she was taught decent respect for others. Unfortunately, not everyone is taught to be so tolerant. Some parents indirectly tell their children discriminatory things just by ranting in anger or joking with a friend. Some deliberate bigots will make it a point to teach their bigotry to their children. On the other hand, most African-American parents have "the talk" with their children when they get to be a certain age. It happens when a child is treated differently from other ch...

I am so glad it is Friday and that the weekend is coming. Just two more weeks until my much-needed vacation. For those who may ask, I will still do my posts when I am in the monastery. They might be a little late if there is little to no internet. When the monks are working, I plan to use that time writing my book. This was a ridiculous day. Since my program director wanted me to get groceries at Costco for a while until I can take clients grocery shopping again, I spent practically two hours in that place because their setup was out of order, and so was the shopping list. On top of that, the store was surprisingly busy for a Friday morning, and I hate crowds like that; they make me nervous! Social distancing helped nothing either. When, oh, when, will these restrictions end?! It was in the 90's today, and I was so hot wearing that stupid mask. My agency had better give us some concrete answers soon; this is driving me bloody insane! Before I go further, a big thank you to Past...

Today was slightly better. I had to deal with a client who is chronically sick who is starting to reject treatment necessary to live. This same client is going mad from cabin fever since he cannot safely go out until the pandemic ends. I hope we can get him back on track; I don't need another client dying on me. I am just tired. I am so glad that my vacation is coming up. I am excited about getting on the train and going to the monastery for a few days. I have been longing to go to a place that is far away from everyone and everything. My peace of mind continues to slip out of my grasp, and I want it back. I want to feel sane again. At least I had a chance to get a portion of normal back tonight. My Working Stiffs Bible Study reconvened. It was great to have the Bible study with my group again. Even The Wife (sorry, Kristaleh; this is just my writing style) and our Vicar came. I will be returning to my Saturday job this week, and I will be able to fika again with She Sits by the ...

This was a bad day. All over the country today, even if my hometown, Chicago, there is rioting. Yes, some areas have peaceful protests where police officers have even joined them, but in Chicago, its suburbs, such as North Riverside, Tinley Park, Orland Park, etc, as well as Atlanta, New York, Dallas, Los Angeles, Seattle, Phoenix, and, of course, Minneapolis, people are burning buildings, firebombing police cars, throwing things at officers, turning over vehicles, spray painting, and so forth. There was even a demonstration across the pond, in London! Many news networks still call these punks "protesters, so allow me to summarize what I wrote last night: While some of these rioters and looters are opportunists or more violent factions of BLM, there is much evidence that White supremacists have provoked the protesters, and Antifa has taken a great hand in hijacking peaceful demonstrations, turning them into riots. This is why the President has declared them a terrorist org...

Before I begin, I want to correct myself on one thing. I kept calling the subject of the rioters George Lloyd, when his name is George Floyd. My apologies. What started as a protest last Tuesday has turned into a violent national free-for-all. In the middle of all of this, everyone continues to point fingers at everyone else. If it is not the President, it is the entire police force, the prosecutors, or the progressives. There were even acts of violence in downtown Chicago today, forcing Mayor Lightfoot to impose a curfew "until further notice." If I must blame someone, I blame the "progressives" for encouraging people to fight belligerently for their rights but ignore their responsibilities. I blame the Democratic party for making empty promises to ethnic minorities and for caring more about sexual minorities and women who want to kill unborn children than about true understanding and mutual respect. I blame the White supremacists who taught Chauvin that, in th...