COVID-19 Lockdown, Day 76

Went to my Saturday job this morning after months of furlough. It was very nice to be back. I actually started to feel normal again. She Sits by the Fire and I talked about how the protesters wanted to defund the police force and how that would not work. She told me about her experiences growing up in a small Swedish sub-neighborhood in Grand Crossing and how she grew up seeing only people and potential friends, and race matters were not really an issue. I am glad that she had this experience and that she was taught decent respect for others.

Unfortunately, not everyone is taught to be so tolerant. Some parents indirectly tell their children discriminatory things just by ranting in anger or joking with a friend. Some deliberate bigots will make it a point to teach their bigotry to their children. On the other hand, most African-American parents have "the talk" with their children when they get to be a certain age. It happens when a child is treated differently from other children, when one child calls him or her a name or will not play with him or her, or when a child watches the news or overhears a conversation. That is when parents know it is time for a frank conversation to tell the child how to live in the world.

For me, it was bits and pieces here and there from my mother. Before I moved out on my own, she gave me rules on how to survive. Such rules include the following:

1. If a police officer pulls you over, pull over immediately. Don't make him chase you.

2. Be polite, even if you did nothing wrong.

3. If he tells you to do something, do it. 

4. Don't let yourself get too angry in front of (the wrong) White people. They'll just use it against you.

5. If a co-worker mistreats you and your supervisor does nothing, look for the one thing they have in common with each other and what you don't have in common with them. 

6. If you are going to take a road trip, especially through the country or the South, learn ahead of time what cities are safe and which to avoid. 

7. You don't need their approval or acceptance. Just do what God tells you. 

Whether one will admit it or not, we have shown much progress. Only 60 years ago, there were far more rules. Usually, the first rule a child learned was which water fountain to use or which restroom to use. The movie White Water illustrates this very well. Next, girls were told not to talk to any married man or any White man. Also, she was told to never walk alone on a quiet street.  Boys were told to never let himself be alone with a White girl. If, walking down the street, you cross a White person, move to the side and let them pass, even if it means standing in a gutter. Never look a White person in the eye, and always smile. Follow these rules, and you might survive. 

Were these rules racist? Of course they are, but obeying these rules to the letter mean the difference between life and death. If a Colored girl became too chummy with a White man who talked to her, especially is she is alone, he may pull her into the grass and rape her, and he would get away with it. If a Colored boy is alone with a White girl, she could make false accusations against him, or her father could see them together, overreact, and accuse him of assaulting his daughter. In either case, that boy is going to die. 

Of course, after being taught how society works, that Colored child was likely to have low self-esteem. Good parents know to work against this. There were times when I wished I were another color, in order to have better life options and to go wherever I wanted without worrying if there would be trouble. Still, I have learned to appreciate my heritage and my color. Alas, I enjoy earth tones, and I get to look at them daily just by looking in the mirror. Rich and brown, like the desert sand, with a hint of red. Milk chocolate when I have been in the sun all day, and almost sallow in the dead of winter. Skin color exists for a reason, and my ancestors from West and Central Africa had skin much darker to help them survive the intense heat. Every skin color means something and has a story to tell. No color is any better than others; they are all special.

--Signing off.