COVID-19 Lockdown, Day 99
Today was very sultry! Fortunately, I was able to spend most of the time indoors. When I got up this morning, after taking care of an unpleasant errand, I went to Panera Bread and did some writing on my book. I was able to get much accomplished since I had gotten many messages and texts.
I received two comments about my post from yesterday. One person told me to "judge not, lest ye be judged, " and another accused me of gossiping and being one-sided. First the former comment. So many people, young and old, conservative and liberal, misquote that passage from the Gospel of John, seventh chapter. They do this to keep people from confronting them about their sins and because they are not interested in changing. Many will use their legal protected classes statuses for this, and many will use their youth or old age. People get tired of this from others. Those who are protected eventually are targeted, and while recalcitrant children eventually get the rod, elderly "good old boys"(GOBs) and "missies" are sent away or abandoned eventually. I once saw a movie about a man with an old, ailing father who was arrogant and big-mouthed. When the father drove away the man's sweetheart, the man responded by tossing his old man into the cheapest nursing home around, surrounded by the same people he hated.
Whoever reads Matthew 7 will notice how Jesus explains the phrase about judging. He says to not be a hypocrite about it. He warns against trying to remove the speck from one eye whilst neglecting the log in his own. With this in mind, I am glad that someone as upright as her said this instead of one of the GOBs and Missies I dealt with yesterday. I would not accept discipline from those who have attacked me and my comrade, considering that they have public sins that they have not repented of, which were without consequence. If anyone, and I mean anyone, sins against me but apologizes, I will forgive and do my best to move on. However, if a person sins against me, and they refuse to apologize, and if they try to justify it, my ability to respect and trust them dissipates, sometimes forever. Such people will I not pay heed to, nor will I accept any instruction or correction from them. I don't care who they think they are.
All of my life, when a person mistreats me, people will say to me "That's just how he/she is" or "He/she had a bad life." Bullspit! No one ever said that about me. When I speak out of turn or do something irrational, people are quick to throw stones. It does not matter if I am defending myself. Especially if the offender is a GOB or a missy. I get stoned, lynched, and burned at the stake. Maybe people expect infallibility from me. Maybe they don't want me to get too uppity. Maybe it is easier to spit in my face and tell me it's raining than to deal with bullies with power. Too bad. That crow will not fly around me. If you disrespect me, you will pay for it. It does not matter what your life has been like, nor does it matter if you think you are the boss with the sauce. You will treat me with respect, or you will regret it. But I digress. Christians are supposed to be careful in how they confront others about their sins. We must be certain that their houses are in order. Still, we must confront sin, for the sake of the sinner and for everyone around him/her.
As for the other comment, let's look up the word gossip. In American Heritage dictionary, gossip is defined as "Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature" or "Trivial, chatty talk or writing." In context, it means telling business that is not your business to tell. It is not said out of concern, but out of spreading rumors that have no healthy purpose but to deliberately hurt or just out of casual habit, such as if a person is having an affair or if someone saw someone else going to a place that is scandalous. As long as I do not give names or specific details, I have the right to report how I am treated in my own blog, end of story. I have the right to reflect on all of my experiences and predict outcomes. What I have written is not gossip. I have experienced gossip in many places, and yesterday's post is not gossip. It is venting and expressing righteous anger.
For a long time, I have grown increasingly unhappy being a member of this current congregation. At yesterday's meeting, however, I have come to a conclusion: I do not belong at this congregation. Sadly, my time there will eventually come to a close. It is a disappointment to have to look for another church again. Whichever congregation I join, it will probably be a mostly African-American congregation. I have been attending churches where I had been the ethnic minority for 20 years. While I have met wonderful people along the way, I have noticed how some people treat me. I get weird stares at times, as if I am a fly in a glass of milk. Some people treat me differently as well. It was very subtle, but it is as if a person does not welcome my presence--especially if I don't do what they say. It is an aura that I cannot explain. It is the way one of the GOBs at the meeting looked at me and approached me. Maybe I read too much into it, but Black men often do. We have needed to in order to survive. It is disappointing at times; no matter how I assimilate and no matter how polite and open I am, there will always be that one person who will think of me as a nigger. That one person always seems to have some kind of power and tends to get away with it. Well, what goes around comes around.
--Signing off.
I received two comments about my post from yesterday. One person told me to "judge not, lest ye be judged, " and another accused me of gossiping and being one-sided. First the former comment. So many people, young and old, conservative and liberal, misquote that passage from the Gospel of John, seventh chapter. They do this to keep people from confronting them about their sins and because they are not interested in changing. Many will use their legal protected classes statuses for this, and many will use their youth or old age. People get tired of this from others. Those who are protected eventually are targeted, and while recalcitrant children eventually get the rod, elderly "good old boys"(GOBs) and "missies" are sent away or abandoned eventually. I once saw a movie about a man with an old, ailing father who was arrogant and big-mouthed. When the father drove away the man's sweetheart, the man responded by tossing his old man into the cheapest nursing home around, surrounded by the same people he hated.
Whoever reads Matthew 7 will notice how Jesus explains the phrase about judging. He says to not be a hypocrite about it. He warns against trying to remove the speck from one eye whilst neglecting the log in his own. With this in mind, I am glad that someone as upright as her said this instead of one of the GOBs and Missies I dealt with yesterday. I would not accept discipline from those who have attacked me and my comrade, considering that they have public sins that they have not repented of, which were without consequence. If anyone, and I mean anyone, sins against me but apologizes, I will forgive and do my best to move on. However, if a person sins against me, and they refuse to apologize, and if they try to justify it, my ability to respect and trust them dissipates, sometimes forever. Such people will I not pay heed to, nor will I accept any instruction or correction from them. I don't care who they think they are.
All of my life, when a person mistreats me, people will say to me "That's just how he/she is" or "He/she had a bad life." Bullspit! No one ever said that about me. When I speak out of turn or do something irrational, people are quick to throw stones. It does not matter if I am defending myself. Especially if the offender is a GOB or a missy. I get stoned, lynched, and burned at the stake. Maybe people expect infallibility from me. Maybe they don't want me to get too uppity. Maybe it is easier to spit in my face and tell me it's raining than to deal with bullies with power. Too bad. That crow will not fly around me. If you disrespect me, you will pay for it. It does not matter what your life has been like, nor does it matter if you think you are the boss with the sauce. You will treat me with respect, or you will regret it. But I digress. Christians are supposed to be careful in how they confront others about their sins. We must be certain that their houses are in order. Still, we must confront sin, for the sake of the sinner and for everyone around him/her.
As for the other comment, let's look up the word gossip. In American Heritage dictionary, gossip is defined as "Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature" or "Trivial, chatty talk or writing." In context, it means telling business that is not your business to tell. It is not said out of concern, but out of spreading rumors that have no healthy purpose but to deliberately hurt or just out of casual habit, such as if a person is having an affair or if someone saw someone else going to a place that is scandalous. As long as I do not give names or specific details, I have the right to report how I am treated in my own blog, end of story. I have the right to reflect on all of my experiences and predict outcomes. What I have written is not gossip. I have experienced gossip in many places, and yesterday's post is not gossip. It is venting and expressing righteous anger.
For a long time, I have grown increasingly unhappy being a member of this current congregation. At yesterday's meeting, however, I have come to a conclusion: I do not belong at this congregation. Sadly, my time there will eventually come to a close. It is a disappointment to have to look for another church again. Whichever congregation I join, it will probably be a mostly African-American congregation. I have been attending churches where I had been the ethnic minority for 20 years. While I have met wonderful people along the way, I have noticed how some people treat me. I get weird stares at times, as if I am a fly in a glass of milk. Some people treat me differently as well. It was very subtle, but it is as if a person does not welcome my presence--especially if I don't do what they say. It is an aura that I cannot explain. It is the way one of the GOBs at the meeting looked at me and approached me. Maybe I read too much into it, but Black men often do. We have needed to in order to survive. It is disappointing at times; no matter how I assimilate and no matter how polite and open I am, there will always be that one person who will think of me as a nigger. That one person always seems to have some kind of power and tends to get away with it. Well, what goes around comes around.
--Signing off.
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