COVID-19 Lockdown, Day 80
Another rough day. Do you know what warfare tactic Shaka Zulu introduced to Southern Africa? It was called "impi" in which his soldiers would charge and surround the enemy in the shape of a bull's horns. The enemy would become surprised to find themselves so quickly surrounded by the enemy to a point where they could not escape and could only fight or die. That is how I have felt today in particular. It felt as if everyone were attacking me in some way: people at work, people from church, all of society, and even at home.
I am tired of fighting. I am tired of needing to explain myself. Not that anyone would listen anyway. People are just so full of talk that they are deaf to the words of others. It's like I cannot do anything right. It feels that every mistake I do is placed on a billboard and taught to parrots to constantly repeat. What bothers me the most is that those who do the least have the most to say. They are the most critical. They will not volunteer to do things and take certain responsibilities, yet they are harsh with those who will. It is like someone who criticizes the government but refuses to vote. It's like a beggar who gets a bowl of hot soup but complains about the crust on the bread.
When will people stop and think about what people must endure to present something considered subpar? Things happen. Things that are not under my control. And I am not a child, so no one has the right to chastise me like one. No one but clergy has the right to preach at me either. As if I know nothing! I have had enough of people's criticism. People cannot even help. They just point their finger at me, with three fingers pointed back at them. I am glad my vacation is coming up. I am glad to spend a few days away from everyone and everything. At least people will leave me alone. That is what I truly want right now. To be left alone by everyone.
--Signing off.
I am tired of fighting. I am tired of needing to explain myself. Not that anyone would listen anyway. People are just so full of talk that they are deaf to the words of others. It's like I cannot do anything right. It feels that every mistake I do is placed on a billboard and taught to parrots to constantly repeat. What bothers me the most is that those who do the least have the most to say. They are the most critical. They will not volunteer to do things and take certain responsibilities, yet they are harsh with those who will. It is like someone who criticizes the government but refuses to vote. It's like a beggar who gets a bowl of hot soup but complains about the crust on the bread.
When will people stop and think about what people must endure to present something considered subpar? Things happen. Things that are not under my control. And I am not a child, so no one has the right to chastise me like one. No one but clergy has the right to preach at me either. As if I know nothing! I have had enough of people's criticism. People cannot even help. They just point their finger at me, with three fingers pointed back at them. I am glad my vacation is coming up. I am glad to spend a few days away from everyone and everything. At least people will leave me alone. That is what I truly want right now. To be left alone by everyone.
--Signing off.
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