My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

Another rough day. I found out when Aunt Hattie's wake and funeral will be. I am glad that the number of people allowed inside for the service is 25, and they will Zoom the service for everyone else. Another family funeral. It seems that the only time I get to see my whole family together is at funerals. Now my workplace is starting to step up precautions even more. Not only must I check my temperature before going to work, but whenever I am at the group home, I must make sure to have my clients check their temperature and then record it. I understand why this must be done, but it is still a headache. I am so glad that I will take time off from work in late June and early July. I am going to spend the first few days at a Lutheran monastery in Michigan (yes, Lutheran monasteries exist). I have lost so much peace of mind the past few years, and it is going to take getting away from everyone and everything to get it back. I remember a time a long time ago when, no matter how dif...

Another hard day. It was good to keep busy because action is the enemy of thought. I was fine when I was getting stuff done, but when I am rested, that's when it begins to hurt. I currently feel as if my emotions are being held back by a dam. Sure, a little creeps through, but something is keeping them back. Maybe I have not found the right place or time to let loose. Maybe I have just run out of tears; I just don't know. Thankfully, I have my ladies--Mom, The Wife, Fights-with-Bull, and She-sits-by-the-Fire--to help me get through this. I really worry about my cousin Putty, who lost her mother, and my Grandma Lela who lost a daughter. I pray that they will  be all right. Even thinking about losing my mother triggers me. Again, I know that death or passing is a transition we must all encounter, but I truly hope that my time away from her on this planet will be no more than 5 minutes. Seriously. One thing that helps me is remembering the lyrics to the song I recently learned...

This was not a good day. I was awakened by a phone call from my mother who told me that my Aunt Hattie had died. No, it was not COVID-19. For the past 20 years, she has had a long list of health problems, including diabetes, kidney disease, and kidney failure. I honestly don't know what I feel right now. A part of me wants to bawl my heart out, but I don't. A part of me wants to scream with anger, but I don't. The feeling that stays with me is numbness. I have lost many loved ones over the past 20 or so years, including friends, two uncles, an great-aunt, a 3 month old cousin, a mentor, a grandfather, a great-grandmother, and now my aunt--my grandmother's second-born. Why am I angry, you may ask? First, I mean no disrespect to anyone of earthly or celestial living. It's just that I was always concerned about her health. Ever since I was little, I almost never saw her without a cigarette between her fingers. She was known to smoke two packs a day; her favorite bran...

Not too much to talk about today. First, I went grocery shopping, and I learned something very interesting. People are no longer allowed to bring their own bags anymore. They must either buy store bags or pack their groceries in their cars. I won't pretend to understand the logic of this as I am sure this is done to protect the spread of infection. Be that as it may, if this is a statewide rule, then stores like Aldi should either lower the prices of their bags or provide a free option. Furthermore, the City of Chicago needs to repeal the 7 cent bag tax. After all, if using store bags is the only option, the consumers should be accommodated. It is so hysterically ironic how the tax was created to encourage conservation and reduce waste, but now such measures are no longer legal. If it will stop the spread of this virus, so be it. Now for something more serious. My grade school, St. Paul Lutheran School, of the Austin neighborhood of Chicago, is having serious fiscal problems. The...

Another day. Today, I actually had Chinese food! I had to go all the way to Evergreen Park for take out at Chi-Tung. It was great to have Mongolian beef with those crispy saifun noodles; Chi-Tung is the only place outside of the city that serves this little delights with Mongolian beef or chicken. Every other Chinese place in the Southwestern suburbs does not even have these. I don't understand why. Another thing that I cannot understand is why it is so hard to find good Chinese food around Bridgeview. When we first moved here, we went to Ing's Palace. I ordered General Tso's chicken, and they gave me a chicken schnitzel that was sliced up and drowned in sweet and sour sauce.  We then tried Golden Chef, which was good for chicken dishes, but beef dishes came teeming with gravy, forcing the question, "Where's the beef?" Maybe I am just used to city food, but I can go to a greasy hole in the wall and walk away satisfied. We would have gone with Chi-Tung, but t...

Well, friends, the good news is that, while the lockdown continues tomorrow, it will be modified, so some businesses will be able to reopen. That's excellent news for small businesses! Also, everyone over age 2 will be required to wear face masks in public, especially when they are not able to practice social distancing.  Let's pause a moment. When this all began, and people started wearing face masks voluntarily, the experts said that only those tested positive for COVID-19 should wear masks. Some listened, but others continued to buy masks, quickly emptying the shelves. Then, when the death toll skyrocketed, the experts changed their tune and recommended masks, especially medical masks and N95s. Though it is pointless to focus on what if's, I cannot help but wonder if it would have made a difference if they knew to recommend face masks in the beginning. Would more lives have been saved? Who knows? All I know is, I will not be happy if it is July, and we are still on lo...

It seems that everyone needs a scapegoat. Whenever there is a tragedy in this world, we quickly point fingers at the most vulnerable parties. During the Bubonic Plague, Europeans attacked Jews because they felt that they wanted to kill Christians by poisoning wells. These days in America, people are staying away from Chinatowns across the country and even Chinese restaurants simply because the COVID-19 outbreak started in China. There are some who even believe that this virus was artificially created in China as a weapon of mass destruction.  Now it seems that in China, in the Guangdong province, where this all began, Chinese politicians and civilians are pointing the finger at foreigners from Africa or who are just Black. When 11 African in Guangzhou tested positive for COVID-19, city officials put all of the city's Black residents under mandatory quarantine, forcing them to stay in their homes. Landlords have responded by evicting Black tenants, and business owners hav...