COVID-19 Lockdown, Day 44

Another rough day. I found out when Aunt Hattie's wake and funeral will be. I am glad that the number of people allowed inside for the service is 25, and they will Zoom the service for everyone else. Another family funeral. It seems that the only time I get to see my whole family together is at funerals.

Now my workplace is starting to step up precautions even more. Not only must I check my temperature before going to work, but whenever I am at the group home, I must make sure to have my clients check their temperature and then record it. I understand why this must be done, but it is still a headache.

I am so glad that I will take time off from work in late June and early July. I am going to spend the first few days at a Lutheran monastery in Michigan (yes, Lutheran monasteries exist). I have lost so much peace of mind the past few years, and it is going to take getting away from everyone and everything to get it back.

I remember a time a long time ago when, no matter how difficult life was, I could still recharge and maintain my peace of mind. And now, the last fortress available to me for getting at least a little peace of mind, church, is gone, and I don't know when that fortress will be available to me again. In all the times, when I cannot even find peace of mind at home, I could almost always find it at church--in fellowship with other believers, singing hymns, listening to sermons, and studying Scripture.With all that has happened to me in the past two years, my peace of mind is hanging on by a thread.

Sometimes, I want to just get in my minivan, drive far away, and never return.

--Signing off.

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