My Daily Struggle in the COVID-19 Lockdown

Well, friends, the good news is that, while the lockdown continues tomorrow, it will be modified, so some businesses will be able to reopen. That's excellent news for small businesses! Also, everyone over age 2 will be required to wear face masks in public, especially when they are not able to practice social distancing.  Let's pause a moment. When this all began, and people started wearing face masks voluntarily, the experts said that only those tested positive for COVID-19 should wear masks. Some listened, but others continued to buy masks, quickly emptying the shelves. Then, when the death toll skyrocketed, the experts changed their tune and recommended masks, especially medical masks and N95s. Though it is pointless to focus on what if's, I cannot help but wonder if it would have made a difference if they knew to recommend face masks in the beginning. Would more lives have been saved? Who knows? All I know is, I will not be happy if it is July, and we are still on lo...

It seems that everyone needs a scapegoat. Whenever there is a tragedy in this world, we quickly point fingers at the most vulnerable parties. During the Bubonic Plague, Europeans attacked Jews because they felt that they wanted to kill Christians by poisoning wells. These days in America, people are staying away from Chinatowns across the country and even Chinese restaurants simply because the COVID-19 outbreak started in China. There are some who even believe that this virus was artificially created in China as a weapon of mass destruction.  Now it seems that in China, in the Guangdong province, where this all began, Chinese politicians and civilians are pointing the finger at foreigners from Africa or who are just Black. When 11 African in Guangzhou tested positive for COVID-19, city officials put all of the city's Black residents under mandatory quarantine, forcing them to stay in their homes. Landlords have responded by evicting Black tenants, and business owners hav...

So, I have been reading about how the pandemic is affecting the farms and meat markets. I have read about how animals are being euthanized and aborted and how milk is being dumped and extra crops are being thrown away. I understand, not as much meat or food is being sold because few people are eating at restaurants, but wasting food and killing animals for nothing is BEYOND appalling. Maybe it is the Native American in me, but whenever I throw away food that spoiled because I did not eat it, I always pray for forgiveness. Parents would always tell their children about the starving children in Africa when they don't finish their plates, but forget Africa for a second! There are starving children right in America--one of the richest countries in the world. Because of people on furlough or being laid off because of the pandemic, there are more people frequenting the local pantries, and we are wasting food? Yes, I am part Native American; I am part Mescalero Apache, part Chippewa, an...

Great news! Steven Landek, the Mayor of Bridgeview, my town, endorsed my blog! I wrote to him to see if Bridgeview had any plans for making masks mandatory, and he replied to say that Bridgeview would only follow what the Governor instructs.  Then, he wrote the following: "Also, I very much enjoy reading your daily post !!!  Don’t worry about the critics.  Nothing will ever be achieved by listening to the critic.  As Teddy Roosevelt noted in his famous speech, The Men In The Area, '…it is not the critic who counts…'" This post really made my week, and it is only Monday!!! And don't worry either, Mr. Mayor! I am too hardheaded to let critics stop me. If I did, I would never try to accomplish anything. I would not have gone to college or grad school, and I would not be a social worker. I would not be a writer either. I have noticed that the usual critics fit into two categories. The first one category belongs to those who keep everything and everyone int...

Saw my best friend and her family today. I kept a wide berth and could not even hug them even though they have survived much trauma this past month. I am glad I was able to help them feel better. It is such a relief that they are back in town. I can see a lot more of them now.  In other news, it seems that too many people in Illinois are either deaf or illiterate. Everywhere, we are told to stay at home or at least practice social distancing. Last night, a group of thoughtless millennials decided to have a party . So many people came to the house to party that everyone literally rubbed elbows with everyone else. A few people wore masks, but what the heck is the point?!  I am sure  most of them went home after to their young children and older parents/grandparents afterwards . If anyone at the party was infected, it is likely they have gotten infected too, and in two weeks, their grandparents and babies will be in the hospital sick or worse.  Don't the peo...

Quiet day. Going to visit my best friend and her family tomorrow. Even though I would want nothing more than to hug each of them, I know what the law limits, and I don't want to get the children sick. Even if I have to wave at them from the parking lot, so be it. Otherwise, I will certainly wear my mask and gloves. I want to thank all of those who have sent me words of encouragement these last few days. Though I am less affected by the thoughless behavior I endure as I grow older, I am still a little sore by being wrongly accused by someone and not receiving any apology. You can always tell if a person is upright by their ability to admit when they are wrong and repent. Regardless, I count myself blessed that I have such devoted readers like you.  Alas, many of us have our ways of dealing with this pandemic and lockdown. While some commit themselves to prayer and devotion, others binge-watch television, and others keep private diaries. While I also pray and read Scripture, I am a...

Today was pretty productive. Someone asked to be removed from the email list because, since they are in the at-risk population, my posts make them uneasy. I understand; it's no problem. I removed them from my list--no harm, no foul. I don't want to make anyone more depressed or afraid than they are already. This is just me sharing my thoughts and experiences until this thing is over. For those who are hanging in there with me, thanks a million; I really appreciate it. I know this phrase is beyond cliche, but we are truly in this together. And we will survive--together.  Now, I am going to give each of you some inside information: I am also in the at-risk population. I have asthma, Tetralogy of Fallot (a heart condition), and I have a glandular condition called panhypopituitarism (let's hear you say it in one breath!).  I know the dangers out there are more compounded for me, but I am the soldier I never was. Not only do I need to provide for my household, but my clients ...

First, a shout-out to Kristen who posted a response to yesterday's post. I really appreciate it, and don't worry; I will not be stopped. In fact, I am going to tell you a story about a man just as stubborn as me (if not more): my father. He was born in Little Rock, Arkansas, and he spent a great deal of his childhood in Alexandria, Louisiana, during Jim Crow times. During such times, to the White supremacist and the "good old boys", there were four types of African-Americans: a lazy nigra (to replace a more offensive word), a crazy nigra, an uppity nigra, and a good nigra. The lazy nigra hated working, and his spent his time gambling, drinking, getting high, fornicating, and generally "shucking and jiving." Though he sometimes got in trouble, he knew his place, and he never stepped out of line and never dreamed of anything better for himself. The good nigra did exactly as he was told, and he worked hard at the job he was allowed to have, and he was content...

What started as a decent day went gradually downhill. The highlight of the day, ironically speaking, was when someone I sent a post of this blog to did not like my opinions and deemed them unsolicited. Instead of telling me directly, they complained to a third party who then accused me of using a public email group meant for something unrelated. I cannot give more details than this regrettably. These two issues are in the Top 5 of my pet peeve list because I cannot abide people talking about be behind closed doors, and I absolutely hate being accused falsely, especially on hearsay. It is an insult to my honor. We are supposed to be better than this. We are all adults and all involved parties are supposed to be Christians. I thought that the isolation and loneliness most of us feel would teach us how to treat each other. I don't bite, and I am not made of glass. If a person does not care to hear my opinions, they should be adults and tell me to my proverbial face. In fact, if an...

Made it to 30 days. One month. One ridiculously long month. The lockdown is set to expire on May 1st, but the governor is hinting that it will be extended. I hope not. I hope for something miraulous to end this because everyone is suffering in one way or the other. There are people now protesting all over the country for the restrictions to be lifted. Before you start criticizing them as crybabies, look deeper. These people are losing their jobs and their businesses. Plus, they are also protesting how law enforcement and municipal/ state leaders are abusing the lockdown. Remember how people at drive-by church services were sited? Remember the doctor providing testing to the homeless had been arrested? Whenever a state of emergency is declared in any country, tyrants always use the occasion to trample on the basic and civil rights of the people. Alas, each national crisis puts our Constitution to the test. If we choose to stay asleep during such times and obey each demand and encroach...

I keep reading news about the high death rate with African-Americans contracting COVID-19. I can just hear the conspiracy theorists saying that the Man is bringing the virus into our communities to kill us off. This sounds similar to the belief that the K with the circle around placed on foods and beverages are owned by the Klan. Then there is the belief that Church's Chicken is owned by a White supremacist, and they place chemicals in the chicken to sterilize African-American men. Why else can you only find them in Black neighborhoods? Please! Seriously, there are many theories out there about why COVID-19 is more lethal in our communities. First, a high proportion of African-Americans are essential workers, which puts them at greater risk for infection. Second, those who work such jobs cannot afford to take sick day, no matter how sick they are. Third, the hospitals in our neighborhoods are a big disgrace. Fourth, so many African Americans just don't care about protection ...

This was a good day. I didn't feel like driving all the way to Schaumburg, but I watched church livestream. Dad called in the middle of it, so I texted him to tell him that I would call him back after church. He was worried because he thought I was in an actual church during the lockdown. Still, if everyone takes precautions as we should, why not? Just think of the Schaumburg church from last Sunday, or the drive-in churches the Christophobes are trying to close down. Also,  I received the best new of the year today. My best friend and her family are moving back to Chicagoland! I'm so happy I could ululate! Hopefully things will get better for them. I would almost rather live in Tennessee than Illinois, but at least life in Illinois is about to get brighter!  Okay, so it is now time for beard check. I know it grew a little. My wife suggested growing sideburns to make the beard look better, but I like the Egyptian look better. Besides, if I grow sideburns now, it wil...

Nothing to report from today. Beard check tomorrow. --Signing off.

Another busy day today. Since Instacart failed me, I needed order pickup via Jewel. As soon as I pulled into the designated sub-lot, a worker came and took my information, and he brought the groceries for my clients immediately. Very sweet! On the other hand, I had a taste for Chinese food today, but the place where we usually order was closed. Surprisingly, most Chinese restaurants are closed nearby, and I have read how Chinatown is suffering because they have lost 70%-80% of their patronage. People, you are not going to get sick from eating Chinese food! The restaurant where I order, New China in Summit, IL, is one of the only Chinese restaurants, except for Chi-Tung in Evergreen Park, where you can get Chinese food as good as you can find it in the city or Chinatown. The only remote danger in a typical Chinese dish is hypertension, and that is only in dished loaded in sodium. There's nothing stereotypical in Chinese food prepared in America. If you ask for chicken, you get chi...

More bad news today. Illinois faced its deadliest day. This day, 125 people died from this plague, bringing the death toll to 1,072 and the total infections over 25,000. Both Lightfoot and Pritzker say that the curve is flattening and that they are still trying to decide if they will go easy on the lockdown or not, whilst Indiana and Wisconsin are prolonging it well into May. Because non-essential businesses have been forbidden to open, millions of Americans are seeking unemployment benefits because they have been furloughed or simply laid off. This is madness. Thank God I am an essential worker. What are everyone laid off going to do? Who is hiring now? How many of these stimulus checks can the government disperse? Speaking of checks, I figured out why I didn't get mine yet. Because the government likes to overtax married couples without children, I only received state refunds for the last two years. I ended up having to pay more money to my least favorite relative: Uncle Sam....

Today was a busy day. I helped my clients, over the phone, apply for their stimulus checks. I hear that people are getting their checks already. When will mine come? Besides, they are not GIVING me anything. They overtax me as punishment for being married and not having human children. As far as I am concerned, they are giving me money back for the times they taxed me too much and for the unjust laws they create to take even more of my money. I am in favor of taxes, but didn't we give the British the boot for their taxation without representation? The only people I see profiting off of my taxes are the wealthy corporations and the victicrats. What about the working and middle classes? We are too busy fighting off poverty. Since when do the resourceful Republicans and bleeding-heart Democrats show that they truly care about the other 80% of the population? In other new, things just got worse for my best friend and her family. First her mother-in-law died, and now a tornado smacked...

Today was a little better. I had gotten nowhere with Instacart, so I had to waste another hour of my schedule reordering groceries with Jewel delivery. I will never use Instacart again. Maybe they are biting off more than they can chew with the pandemic, but they are useless now. There are other delivery/pick-up services. God bless America! At least our governor has given us more good news. It appears that the curve has come and that the worst is likely behind us. We cannot see the sun yet, but at least the clouds are clearing. Sure, no one and nothing will ever be the same, but at least in a month, God willing, the children will be back in school, and social life will return. I saw a very clever music video about staying safe in COVID-19, taking the tune for the Sound of Music's Do-Re-Mi. Listen for yourselves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMBh-eo3tvE I continue to think about the COVID-19 prepared church I visited in Schaumburg on Resurrection Sunday. They had every othe...

Not the best day. I was bombarded by phone calls, and I had gotten the runaround with a provider. On top of that, I tried ordering groceries for my clients on Instacart, but there was some kind of error, and I spent two hours with customer service agents trying to get them to correct their mistakes, but to no avail. As much as I hate talking on the phone, I couldn't even do that since they were swamped. I seriously hate Instacart. I was able to relax a minute at home until I received news. My old organist, Wayne Lucht, departed this earth recently. I hope he didn't die from the virus; that is an undignified end for a man like him. Sure, he was 94, but whenever anyone, young or old, dies this month, there will be the lingering question: did they die from COVID-19? Either way, I am sick of death. I read the news. Death. I go to work. Death. I go home. Death. It follows me like a hungry horsefly. When will this pandemic be over?! Rest in peace, Mr. Lucht . --Signing off.

CHRIST HAS RISEN!!! Today was a pretty good day. It was, after all, the beginning of the Resurrection Season. I went to a social-distancing prepared church and could actually take Eucharist. It felt so good to be in church again! I will probably go there until the lockdown is over, and if that means I need to drive 1 mile to get to Schaumburg, so be it! According to the major, today's death toll is the lowest it has been in 6 days, so that is good news. On the other hand, I read horrible stories about how a Michigan woman lost her whole family to this virus, and a Louisiana man lost 10 relatives and friends. I am not ashamed to admit that these stories made me cry. There has been so much death the past week. A friend of mine recently lost his grandmother from COVID-19. Thankfully, my mother, wife, and grandmothers are all safe and relatively healthy, and so are my golden-year friends. I have suffered so much loss, yet I have barely become numb to it. Each loss is still a dagger...

Getting ready for Resurrection Sunday--the best holiday of the year (for me, at least). I plan to go to Schaumburg in the morning for a quarantine-friendly Resurrection Service, but I am planning a little surprise for my congregation first. Nothing more to report. --Signing off.

Good Friday. A sobering day in which I remember how my Savior suffered and died for the forgiveness of my sins. It is the second holiest day of all Christianity. Our Vicar had another livestream, and I almost missed it because Mozilla Firefox cannot stream well from Facebook. On Chrome, there were no problems. Just as you think the mudslinging had subsided, Governor Pritzker just had to open his 100 lb mouth. He is now repeating the rhetoric of his extremist comrades. He had the nerve to insist that Trump was failing to help with providing necessary materials for fighting the outbreak. What is the proof? Also, why are governors like Pritzker and Cuomo becoming more apt to depend on Trump for support? Another thing: Illinois and New York have GDPs greater than 1/3 of Europe. Why aren't the governors making resources for their states instead of demanding resources from the President, especially considering how they told him to take a hike ever since he was elected. Maybe if they wo...

Today was half decent, uneventful. After work, I came home and prepared a Seder meal. I watched a Maundy Thursday livestream of a congregation in Schaumburg. There were only a few people there, so there were no quarantine violations. I am tempted to go there tomorrow and Sunday if I can. Definitely Sunday. I don't want to celebrate the resurrection of my Lord at a computer screen. If they are spaced out and don't touch, it is safe. Speaking of which, at least we are seemingly bending the curve, as they say. the number of those who have died has dropped today. I know this will all end soon. It ended already where it began, in China, and it will end here too. Keep the faith, friends. Keep the faith. --Signing off.

Another rough day. I received yet another example of how stupid and reckless people, even professionals, can be. Since Chase Bank decided to change their policy and tack on a monthly fee to my account, I asked them to close my liquid card. What did they do? They closed my checking account! Because of how I have things set up, I would have to be high on glue to cancel my checking account. So, I called customer service, and after 30 minutes of waiting, I get this woman who said that there is nothing they could do! Seriously? They cancel a checking account via messaging, but they cannot stop my account from closing by telephone? For one of the world's biggest banks, they certainly are incompetent, and this is just one of many examples. What if the government tried to send my stimulus check? What if I had a bill payment being processed? So, I went down to the local branch to talk to a banker on my lunch break. I had to sign in at the front desk and then wait outside because social di...

Today was a little bit better, but pretty busy nonetheless. Had a meeting this morning in which we processed the death of that client that was discovered yesterday. I felt a little numb, but I tried to support my other coworkers, especially the desk clerk who found the corpse.  I had a lot of paperwork that was due today, and I was hoping to finish it in a timely fashion, but no! After calling clients to report  the death of one of their residents , I had to admit another client to the hospital after this client finally snapped from psychiatric symptoms due to quarantine Cabin Fever. I couldn't follow him to be emergency room because of the COVID-19 restrictions. I therefore had to fax the necessary papers to the emergency room and the social worker on duty and then follow-up to make sure that they received the documents. Surprisingly, they admitted him right away and did not have to wait a long period of time in the emergency room. But then, this hospital has a psych ward o...

Bad day. First, I came in to realize that a client's medication was sent to the wrong pharmacy, and then, when it was sent to the right pharmacy, they agreed to sent it right away, and they did--to another site. Now, my client will go 8 days without insulin. Then I learned that two clients had been arguing with each other all weekend, and one grabbed the other last night, and then they went back to yelling at each other again today. When I asked what happened last night, one person accused the other of something, and the other denied it completely. Of course, there were no witnesses. On top of it all, another client I once worked with died. This makes the fourth in 3 years. He died all by himself because his delusions kept him from his family and from having true friends. When you have delusions so strong that you cannot trust anyone and you are always in fear for your safety, life is very hard. It is ever frightening and exhausting. I would hate to live so isolated from others w...

Today was a good day. I had gotten up around 7:30 and watched the Palm Sunday service livestream. I then went out and delivered palms to people from church, as well as my mother and grandmother. Also, I was able to get some work done on my new book; I had been neglecting it for too long.  This will make an interested Holy Week. Indeed, though I keep saying this, this is the first time since I remember missing church on the major festival days. At least there is livestream. I hope we can agree to some sort of compromise on Resurrection Sunday; I know that this day will be very hard for many. Still, I understand and submit to the lockdown, and I would have for what happened to  Rev. Rodney Howard-Browne of Tampa, Florida to happen to our Vicar and Maintenance Pastor. I am confident we can think of something to observe the holiest day of the year safely, like a drive in service. After all, would we not be in the protection of our vehicles? Communion may be another story, but I ...

Slept in very late today. Tried to order groceries via Shipt, but their website decided at the last minute to announce that I could only get groceries through them if I paid a monthly fee. So, I decided to bite the bullet and go down the street to Aldi. At least today, there was no shortage of milk, eggs, or bread like the other times. I was reading the news reports yesterday, and I was concerned to read about people losing their jobs because of the lockdown. Though I hate having to contact my clients via telephone (I hate talking on the phone, period), at least my agency is considered essential, and at least my job is considered essential. The last time I heard the term "essential worker" was on Schindler's List. When we do have to go out, we have been encouraged to carry our work IDs in case we are stopped.  Still, tomorrow is Palm Sunday, and yet again, the only church service available to me is via a computer screen. Perhaps I should not complain so much about it ...

Depressing day. In addition to more stories about deaths and the spread of the virus, I learned that one of my favorite singers, Bill Withers, died. He was 81. No, he did not have the virus; he had heart problems. Still, this is just the icing on the cake. How are his family going to have a funeral? What about a public memorial? I was able to keep myself busy today, picking up meals for people at my previous house, grocery shopping for my group home and getting groceries for a client with cancer. Still, today a part of me wanted to curl into a ball and weep. Another part of me wishes I could be put into a coma until this is all over. I hope this experience is teaching us the importance of healthy socialization and looking out for each other. I hope this creates a spiritual revival, where we put God back in our lives and focus only on important things. Rest in peace, Bill. Signing off.

Nothing to report, except another day in this lockdown. But then, each day that passes is one day less of it. Signing off. P.S.: The wife is threatening to cut off my beard as I sleep. I wish she WOULD try that!

So, today I read more about how the number of people dying from COVID-19 continues to grow in Illinois, and that 5,102 people have died from this. I looked at the Illinois death statistics, and while some children, a newborn, a teenager, and a few people under 50 have died, the majority of those who have died are over 60--especially over 70. The supervisor of my side-gig, a septuagenarian (those she has more energy than some 60-year-olds I know), is now, metaphorically speaking, coming to Jesus. She is closing her office for a few weeks, so I might be working from home on Saturdays. As for Monday-Friday, I have been working at my backup location, and I have been getting more done! I am even starting to come home earlier than usual.  Okay, so for those who know me best, my beard is growing. Ever since the first state of emergency a few weeks ago, I have been letting my beard grow. I plan to let it grow until the crisis has ended. If I start looking like a yokel, so be it. Now,...